Examples of stupidity.

LWashington said:
It is true, we couldn't believe it either. The factors that caused him to do it were probably that he was still a pissed from his session the night before and also he was one of those people who was blind as a bat without his glasses but to improve his chances with the women he never wore them.
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I know someone that made a brew and put powdered milk in it. It was obviously very hot and he wanted to drink it there and then so he put more powdered milk in it. He did this a few times with us stood behind either pissing ourselves or gawping in disbelief.
I mean everyone knows milk cools your tea down.
 
On holiday early 1990's I went in a pub. A pub quiz was halfway through and I sat at the next table to a young couple who had a quiz sheet but were obviously struggling with answers. They asked me to help and I told them five or six answers. When the scores were totalled they had tied with another team both on 17 out of 20. They quizmaster asked both teams to nominate one player for the tie break who was to come to the bar. They had to answer the question without team help and the closest answer won prize £20. The lad from the couple was enjoying his beer so he sent his girlfriend up. The quizmaster asked this question about air travel ( I think it might have been in what year did a pilot first travel at twice the speed of sound). The other team went first and said "1970". She glanced at her boyfriend and he mouthed "earlier". So she said "1930". The answer was 1953 so the other team won. When she came back to the table she said "I knew it was earlier but had no idea of the year.".
I said "If you'd have said 1969 you were bound to win ".
They both looked at me and said "Damn I wish we'd thought of that .... Why didn't we think of that etc etc"
 
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Not something I witnessed myself but was told whilst there. I visited the Athabasca Glacier off the Icefields Parkway in Canada, the tour buses were full of Japanese tourists. Our guide said recently he saw another staff member dress up in a bear suit and appear out on the glacier on all fours. Cue bus loads of rich Japanese tourists absolutely losing their shit, a mixture of screaming and crying and others taking videos and photos of the bear.
 
I was coaching " soccer" in Louisiana one Summer. Staying on a smallholding, with a redneck family.
The guy really took a shine to us Brit coaches, and at the end of our stay he was quite emotional.
He asked if he could come and visit us in England. "Sure anytime" I said.
"Ok, so I will come in my pick up, so how long will it take to drive to England?"

After a moment of hesitation, I said "It depends on the tides"

He never did make it for tea , with the queen and I.
 
bluemanchester said:
Not really stupid, but funny. My M in Law was on the bus going from Piccadilly to Wythenshawe. It was full so she had to stand. The bus was going along the Parkway quite fast so she had to hold the handrail. She was still getting thrown about a bit even then. When the bus stopped near the Mersey the man in the seat looked at her and said " I need to get off now love" she replied "Thanks I will have your seat". He said " no, I have to get off can you let go of my curtain rail please.
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If that is true it's a fucking classic.
 
Driving into Bath with ex-mrs MB when we saw posters for 'No Fit State Circus' (obv some alternative circus malarky). Nearly crashed when she asked in all seriousness 'Where's Nofit?' Not laughed so much since I was about 5 years old, even better when she gets all miffed at me laughing and gets her phone out to look on Google Maps for fucking 'Nofit'.
 
my mums uncle wasn't the brightest,she & her sister used to keep their eye on him,he would do all sorts of crackpot things like eating those cheese slices you used to get in the 70's on a sandwich...without taking the plastic covering off them then complained about it being a bit 'rubbery'....she caught him taking half a dozen paracetamol before he was going on the piss once,turned out he'd been doing it for 10 years in case he got a hangover the following morning....surprised the daft **** woke up at all.....
 
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asahartford1 said:
I was coaching " soccer" in Louisiana one Summer. Staying on a smallholding, with a redneck family.
The guy really took a shine to us Brit coaches, and at the end of our stay he was quite emotional.
He asked if he could come and visit us in England. "Sure anytime" I said.
"Ok, so I will come in my pick up, so how long will it take to drive to England?"

After a moment of hesitation, I said "It depends on the tides"

He never did make it for tea , with the queen and I.
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I hope you're not insinuating that some of our transatlantic brethren are somewhat less than MENSA material?
 
My mate,who was a teacher, told me this one. He took a group of secondary school children out on a local area study. A new housing estate had been built on the site where a massive factory (I think it might have been Izal ) once stood. The gateposts were the only things remaining of the original factory. They were located at the end of a garden of one of the new houses and the owner had given them permission to go and look at them.
When they got back to school and were writng up the outing one girl put.
"There used to be a massive Izal factory in our local area, but unfortunately it had to be knocked down, when a man woke up one morning and found that they had accidentally built it in his back garden".
 
A load of us lads went to Newquay for a week. After driving for 8 hours we arrived and went for a swim before going onto the camp site. When we came out of the sea, the driver, Reidy says "you will not believe this. I went in the sea with the car keys in my shorts pocket & they are not there now". He then says "if we come back tomorrow when the tides out I know roughly where I was swimming so we can just look there".
 
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