Examples of stupidity.

Remember overhearing a group pf American tourists reading a breakfast menu ask a waitress in Dublin what's back bacon. Her straight to the point reply of "well its bacon from the back of a pig" left them even more confused. The arrival of black and white pudding caused even more confusion for them.
 
mike1923 said:
Tried to make a shepherds pie in the oven when I was about 18, it said remove all packaging so being a thick fucker I took it out of the foil tray and stuck it in directly on the shelf. Came back 20 minutes later to a brown Potato puddle at the bottom of my mums oven
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Brilliant.
 
Barcon said:
I googled it and the only result was me saying it on here. Never heard it before. Unless you are trying to reverse clarkie me into a clarkie.

Edit: Turns out it was a clarkie after all.
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It really is an old saying. A bushel is a large barrel.
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KS55 said:
It really is an old saying. A bushel is a large barrel.
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The world's leading online dictionary: English definitions, synonyms, word origins, example sentences, word games, and more. A trusted authority for 25+ years!
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I see that now mate. I hold my hands up, it was a clarkie. But to be fair, the wife Clearly has no idea what it means because she was trying to insult me.
 
Blumooniac said:
One of my favourites from a long teaching career:
During a Geography lesson, a Y5 girl in Wythenshawe remarked,
"Why do they always put rivers under bridges?"
She also got hit by a car crossing the road.
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reminds me of primary school when a kid answered the question "what's 1+1?"

with "c".
 
Blumooniac said:
One of my favourites from a long teaching career:
During a Geography lesson, a Y5 girl in Wythenshawe remarked,
"Why do they always put rivers under bridges?"
She also got hit by a car crossing the road.
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Why was the car crossing the road? Was it chained to a chicken?
 
In a little eatery in Chorlton a few years ago, the waitress came over and asked if we’d like to order some drinks. I had seen they had a few different types of cider so said “Can I have a bottle of apple cider, please?” the waitress replied “Oh I don’t think we do apple cider. We do have original, pear or summer fruits...”

A while later I saw her attempting to light the candles in the restaurant. She lit the match, held the match upright, tuned the candle (which was one of those glass cup sort of things) upside down over the match, and the match went out. She did this about six times and started to get dead frustrated and I heard her say “these matches don’t work”.
 
Sky Blue Thinking said:
Remember overhearing a group pf American tourists reading a breakfast menu ask a waitress in Dublin what's back bacon. Her straight to the point reply of "well its bacon from the back of a pig" left them even more confused. The arrival of black and white pudding caused even more confusion for them.
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I was reading an article about Full English Breakfasts, written by an American who had one on her visit to Britain. She was making it for herself back in USA and taking pictures and comparing it to the real one she’d had over here.

In the comments section underneath, the amount of Americans saying things like “that seems like a wacky meal, I would substitute the sausages+beans with a salad and I wouldn’t eat that black stuff” “yeah I agree, black pudding errgh, and I’d have salsa instead of fried tomatoes too”...

That would just be a plate of bacon, mushrooms, salad and salsa. Nowt like a Full English!
 
Psychedelic Casual said:
I was reading an article about Full English Breakfasts, written by an American who had one on her visit to Britain. She was making it for herself back in USA and taking pictures and comparing it to the real one she’d had over here.

In the comments section underneath, the amount of Americans saying things like “that seems like a wacky meal, I would substitute the sausages+beans with a salad and I wouldn’t eat that black stuff” “yeah I agree, black pudding errgh, and I’d have salsa instead of fried tomatoes too”...

That would just be a plate of bacon, mushrooms, salad and salsa. Nowt like a Full English!
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strange folk.
 
asahartford1 said:
I was coaching " soccer" in Louisiana one Summer. Staying on a smallholding, with a redneck family.
The guy really took a shine to us Brit coaches, and at the end of our stay he was quite emotional.
He asked if he could come and visit us in England. "Sure anytime" I said.
"Ok, so I will come in my pick up, so how long will it take to drive to England?"

After a moment of hesitation, I said "It depends on the tides"

He never did make it for tea , with the queen and I.
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Understandable......I once rented out a car at the airport to an American from Austin, Texas, who had friends in Italy and wanted to know if I knew them. Surprisingly they bought the car back without a scratch.
 
richardtheref said:
A load of us lads went to Newquay for a week. After driving for 8 hours we arrived and went for a swim before going onto the camp site. When we came out of the sea, the driver, Reidy says "you will not believe this. I went in the sea with the car keys in my shorts pocket & they are not there now". He then says "if we come back tomorrow when the tides out I know roughly where I was swimming so we can just look there".
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Fair play to the guy for using his initiative.
 
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