What makes a Wiganers eyes light up ?
A. A torch shone in their ear
Why aren't Wiganers allowed coffee breaks ?
A. It takes too long to re-train them
I went into a shop in Wigan last week and asked the owner if he sold "turps"he asked would that be cassette turps or video turps
A Wiganer takes his cat into the vets.
He says to the vet: 'can you have a look at me cat, it's not well?'
The vet says: 'is it a tom?' (at home).
The Wiganer says: 'No I brought it with me
Why does a Wiganer always wear a pie on his wrist?
So he always has sommat to ate
Two Platt Bridgers walking home and one stumbles and feels dizzy.
His mate says: 'Have you got
vertigo?' (far to go).
He says: 'No, I only live here
What's the difference between a sock and a camera in Wigan?
One takes five toes and the other fotoes
A Wiganer decides he want to have a golden statue of his dog made so he goes to the jewellers and asks how much it would be.
The jeweller asks: 'Do you want it eighteen carat?'
The Wiganer replies, no I'll just have it chewing a bone
How many Wiganers does it take to change a lighbulb?
Two ...
One to change the lightbulb, the other to hold his pie
what do wiganers call a kebab?
2 pies on a stick!!!
What's the difference between a woman from Wigan and a walrus?
One's got a moustache and smells of fish and the other lives in the
sea.
two wigginers abroad in London for the challenge cup come across a pub with a board outside reading"a pie, a pint and a jump, for £10, look at that says wigginer one are we having some of that, I bet theres a catch in it says wigginer two, I'll go and ask so in He goes and comes out five minutes later and says " Landlord says it's reet that" "it cawn't be he says I'll go and ask him so in he goes and says to the Landlord "is that sign reet what's the catch " comes out after five minutes and says to wigginer two "I towd thi there was a catch in it didn't I, Landlord doesn't know whose pies they are
Police now have a lead on the explosion of the flats in Worsley mesnes Wigan ,
Police have released information on there top suspects
and its belive to be the organised milatant group al - pie - eater!
How did you get a black eye?"
"I were at rubgy training and the coach had us running round pitch. He said ' Hands on hips and keep running' - no problem. Then 'Hands on shoulders' - I were getting a little tired, but no problem. It were when he said 'Hands on thighs' that I ran into the posts 'cos I couldn't see where I were going
I thank yooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
