Favourite Simpsons one lines

[quiet_riot]

The X files one where Moulder and Scully fix him up to the lie detector and explain how it works and that if he lies it will make a noise and flash. Homer looks back blankly just blinking at them. They ask him if he understands, he says yes and the machine blows up. Quality.

lol

The lie detector with moe is awesome: <a class="postlink" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-TZ8Z5S9rI" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-TZ8Z5S9rI</a>

 

[blue_chili_pepper]

grounds keeper willie >>>>> "save the wee turtles"

and "AHHHHH my retirement grease!!!!!"

willie: arcchhh who are you?
homer: foreign exchange students from ermmmmm scotland.
willie: archhh im from scotland, where ya hail from?
homer: ermmm north kilt......town
willie: ayeee, im from north kilttown, you know angus mc cloud?
homer: hey wait a minute, there is no angus mc cloud from north kilttown!!!
willie: archh i know................AAHHHHH MY RETIREMENT GREASE

 

[ihatemanunited]

Yabba-dabba-doo!

Simpson, Homer Simpson, he's the greatest guy in history! From the town of Springfield he's about to hit a chestnut tree! AAAH!


<a class="postlink" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RoUfWNT3MOg&feature=related" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RoUfWNT3 ... re=related</a>

 

[MikeF]

The Homerphobia episode in the steel mill and the steelworker saying

'Hooooooot stuff coming through!'

Makes me laugh just thinking about it!

lmao me too

we work hard....we play hard!

Everybody dance now hahaha

Surely the funniest episode they've ever done also

 

[ihatemanunited]

Bart Simpson (spelling "Impervious" in a spelling B): I...M...P
Nelson: Bart is pee!
Ralph Wiggum: I made Bart in my pants!

___

Marge: This is the worst thing you've ever done.
Homer: You say that so often that it lost its meaning.

__

Lisa: Dad, don't you think you're overreacting?
Homer: Don't you think you're *under*reacting?
Lisa: This conversation is over.
Homer: This conversation is *under*.
Lisa: Goodbye.
Homer: *bad*bye

____

Chief Wiggum on phone: Uh, Mrs. Simpson, I have some bad news. Your husband was found DOA.
Marge: Oh my god! He's dead?
Chief Wiggum: Oh, I'm sorry. He was DUI. I get those two confused. (hangs up phone)
Woman walks in: My name is Mrs. Phillips. You said my husband was DUI?
Chief Wiggum: Uh... talk to one of those officers over there. I'm going to lunch.

______

Rags

Wife: Now Cletus, why did ya haf to park next to my parents?
Cletus: Now, Now, Hun, they're my parents too...

________

Homer: Operator! Give me the number for 911!

____

Homer: Moe, I need your advice.
Moe: Yeah?
Homer: See, I got this friend named... Joey Jo Jo... Junior... Shabadoo.
Moe: That's the worst name I ever heard.
Joey runs out of the bar sobbing
Barney: Hey! Joey Jo Jo!

_____

Sideshow Bob: Attempted murder, now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry?

 

[scall11]

Homer's filling in his tax return

HOMER: Marge, what were your gambling losses for last year
MARGE: $42,000

Homer doesn't bat an eyelid and writes it down.

 

[Chungo]

Homer: hehe look at this country, u-r-gay (uruguay)

 

[jimmym_mcfc]

burns: simpson eeyyy

 

[Kippax.]

Do'h

 

[Joycee Banercheck]

Chief Wiggum when catching all the kids when they do that pirate radio show and spread gossip round Springfield:
"I hope this has taught you kids a leason: kids never learn."