Firmly back on the wagon with both feet. Back at AA (SHOULD NEVER HAVE LEFT) and been to see the docs about issues and stresses I have. Offered me anti-depressants but said I'd rather try and talk through things with somebody face to face.
Back in my house for the time being spending time with my little girl, missus is mulling over a month trial period while I get my shit together, but after having a proper chat think it's more than just this we have to sort out, and that's from both sides.
Mates and family have been amazing and I'm very lucky to have the support network I have as I know some people are not quite as lucky. Finally thanks for all your replies, fully taken into account and glad I came on here to keep me busy instead of getting pissed in my hotel room.
Oh and I won't be attending City anytime soon, right now it's so far down my list of priorites it's untrue, mate thinks it's great as he's got my ticket.
Need a rest, need to get my head together and realise what actually does make my head tick the way it does, but one thing I do know is that I came within a whisker of losing my daughter. What a fucking wake up call.