Foreign Doctors

[KS55]

Foreign doctors working in the NHS are supposed to be able to speak English. Judge the following incident.
The GP who looks after my back and hip problems is Austrian. She spoke to Mrs KS on the phone the other day:
Doc:”How much does your husband wee?”
Mrs KS: “What???”
Doc: “I need to know how much your husband wees.”
Mrs KS: “ Do you want that in pints, litres, or visits?”
Doc: “ Eh???”
Mrs KS asked : “Tell me again what you need to know.”
Doc: “I need to know your husbands weet.”
Mrs KS “ Do you mean how much he weighs?”
Doc: “Yes, what’s his weet?”
Mrs KS “I’ve no idea.”
Exeunt omnes.

 

[Uncle Wally One Ball]

That is an accent issue. Doctor spoke English. No different to me speaking to a Glaswegian in a call centre I can never understand how they pronounce stuff

 

[JASR]

At least Mrs KS managed to see a doctor…

 

[Nellies left peg]

Foreign doctors working in the NHS are supposed to be able to speak English. Judge the following incident.
The GP who looks after my back and hip problems is Austrian. She spoke to Mrs KS on the phone the other day:
Doc:”How much does your husband wee?”
Mrs KS: “What???”
Doc: “I need to know how much your husband wees.”
Mrs KS: “ Do you want that in pints, litres, or visits?”
Doc: “ Eh???”
Mrs KS asked : “Tell me again what you need to know.”
Doc: “I need to know your husbands weet.”
Mrs KS “ Do you mean how much he weighs?”
Doc: “Yes, what’s his weet?”
Mrs KS “I’ve no idea.”
Exeunt omnes.

My wife has just had brain surgery to remove a tumour and to be honest the surgeon was exceptionally kind explaining the procedure in minute detail and the skill involved in the 12 hour procedure must have been incredible as she was out and home within three days and has has at least 3 follow up calls in the first 2 weeks from the actual surgeon. I cannot fault anything, by the way she’s japanese

 

[BimboBob]

My wife has just had brain surgery to remove a tumour and to be honest the surgeon was exceptionally kind explaining the procedure in minute detail and the skill involved in the 12 hour procedure must have been incredible as she was out and home within three days and has has at least 3 follow up calls in the first 2 weeks from the actual surgeon. I cannot fault anything, by the way she’s japanese

Where did you first meet your Japanese wife?

 

[stonerblue]

Foreign doctors working in the NHS are supposed to be able to speak English. Judge the following incident.
The GP who looks after my back and hip problems is Austrian. She spoke to Mrs KS on the phone the other day:
Doc:”How much does your husband wee?”
Mrs KS: “What???”
Doc: “I need to know how much your husband wees.”
Mrs KS: “ Do you want that in pints, litres, or visits?”
Doc: “ Eh???”
Mrs KS asked : “Tell me again what you need to know.”
Doc: “I need to know your husbands weet.”
Mrs KS “ Do you mean how much he weighs?”
Doc: “Yes, what’s his weet?”
Mrs KS “I’ve no idea.”
Exeunt omnes.

''Gud moaning...''

 

[Kinkladze's crazy skills]

Where did you first meet your Japanese wife?

Maybe at a Sushi restaurant, where he worked as a most impressive chef...
or at an Origami class, where he made the most impressive folds...
or at a Haiku class, where he composed the most articulate poems...
or while learning Shinto philosophy, after embracing Japanese traditions...
or when he was a Samurai student, where he learned the way of the Bushido...
or at a Sumo Wrestling event, where he won a whole bastard tournament...


Actually the truth is maybe much simpler than that, he probably just wooed her with tales of City, then she found out @Nellies left peg was also hung like a Mancunian.

 

[bluesmith]

Thanks to them all, the NHS would fold without them.

 

[SamBlue]

"You know that foreign doctors are just the foreigners, they're all the same and alongside the experts this country really does not need right now! But we are here to help...and your back as well!"

 

[dickie davies]

I was working in a WH Smith store at the airport last week and I was approached by an immaculately dressed young lady, who was accompanied by a second, immaculately dressed young lady, and asked "do you have protector for her?"
I looked at her travelling companion and replied inquisitively "for her!"
She said "noh. Foh-err" and pointed to her head

 

[Nellies left peg]

Maybe at a Sushi restaurant, where he worked as a most impressive chef...
or at an Origami class, where he made the most impressive folds...
or at a Haiku class, where he composed the most articulate poems...
or while learning Shinto philosophy, after embracing Japanese traditions...
or when he was a Samurai student, where he learned the way of the Bushido...
or at a Sumo Wrestling event, where he won a whole bastard tournament...


Actually the truth is maybe much simpler than that, he probably just wooed her with tales of City, then she found out @Nellies left peg was also hung like a Mancunian.

What do you mean like a Mancunian? I am a proud product of Englands finest city:-)

 

[Mad Eyed Screamer]

I recall at work when we all had a first aid course.
Instructor doing the mouth to mouth on the Annie doll.
Instructor- what are we checking for when we say ABC? (Points to one bloke) what is A?
Bloke - er
Instructor to bloke (after slight pause) - what is A?
Bloke (a bit sterner) er
Instructor (a bit sterner) It’s Air
Bloke - yes that’s what I said twice
Another colleague - yes he’s from Oldham, er is air
Everyone pissing themselves laughing

 

[uwerosler28]

I can only think of Allo Allo right now.

 

[hampshireblue]

Let's not forget British doctors are foreign to 99.5% of the world's population.

 

[Rory Bluelow]

When I was a kid (I’m nearly 70) almost every doctor seemed to be Scottish, now every doctor seems to be from the Middle East. We’d be fucked without them.

 

[KS55]

When I was a kid (I’m nearly 70) almost every doctor seemed to be Scottish, now every doctor seems to be from the Middle East. We’d be fucked without them.

My erstwhile neighbour was an ENT consultant from Egypt. He believed that MI6 had killed lady Di to stop a Muslim becoming a member of the royal family. I asked him why he thought that. He replied:
“It’s all over the internet.”
Polos cure deafness, too.

 

[Jazzman]

Foreign doctors working in the NHS are supposed to be able to speak English. Judge the following incident.
The GP who looks after my back and hip problems is Austrian. She spoke to Mrs KS on the phone the other day:
Doc:”How much does your husband wee?”
Mrs KS: “What???”
Doc: “I need to know how much your husband wees.”
Mrs KS: “ Do you want that in pints, litres, or visits?”
Doc: “ Eh???”
Mrs KS asked : “Tell me again what you need to know.”
Doc: “I need to know your husbands weet.”
Mrs KS “ Do you mean how much he weighs?”
Doc: “Yes, what’s his weet?”
Mrs KS “I’ve no idea.”
Exeunt omnes.

Somehow I imagined that in Scottish.

 

[supercity88]

I think it's always been a requirement for doctor's to talk a foreign language. Otherwise why would we have to tell them to say it again in English?

 

[youngbob]

Foreign doctors working in the NHS are supposed to be able to speak English. Judge the following incident.
The GP who looks after my back and hip problems is Austrian. She spoke to Mrs KS on the phone the other day:
Doc:”How much does your husband wee?”
Mrs KS: “What???”
Doc: “I need to know how much your husband wees.”
Mrs KS: “ Do you want that in pints, litres, or visits?”
Doc: “ Eh???”
Mrs KS asked : “Tell me again what you need to know.”
Doc: “I need to know your husbands weet.”
Mrs KS “ Do you mean how much he weighs?”
Doc: “Yes, what’s his weet?”
Mrs KS “I’ve no idea.”
Exeunt omnes.

Fine we'll deport her and let you manage with your hip and back problems on your own.

 

[KS55]

Fine we'll deport her and let you manage with your hip and back problems on your own.

Grow up.