Friday Jokes!!

what animal has a **** in the middle of its back
a police horse<br /><br />-- Thu May 13, 2010 7:02 pm --<br /><br />two guys walking down the road
when they see a dog licking his balls
one guy says to the other man i wish i could do that
his mate says dont you think you ought to pet him 1st
 
woman asks her hubby if he's ever pissed in the shower,
"maybe once or twice" he replies, "but always accidentely"
she informs him that she thinks it's fucking disgusting and enquires what he means by accidentely.
"well these things sometimes happen while your straining for a shit!!"
 
Cheryl Cole, Louis Walsh & Simon Cowell are walking down the steeet one day when suddenly Cheryl trips, falls forward and jams her head in some railings. Quick as a flash Simon pulls her knickers down and bangs her senseless from behind. Slapping her tight little arse he turns to Louis and says "You're turn next mate". Louis starts crying. "What's wrong?" says Simon. Louis sobs "My head won't fit in the railings".
 
Paddy is sunbathing on a nude beach in Spain. Out of manners, and to prevent sunburn, he kept a hat over his bits.

A woman walks past sniggering and says "if you were a gentleman you would lift your hat ....."

Paddy replies "if you weren't so f**king ugly, it would lift itself!
 
Two Irish men paddy and Murphy
well paddy says to murphy that he's going on holiday and does he wont any fags bringing back
so murphy goes yeah alright paddy get me 200 and ill pay you when you get back.
Anyway a week layer paddy comes back of his holiday and goes to Murphy "Ive got them 200 fags you wanted murphy"
So murphy goes "how much do I owe you"
paddy says "£60"
murphy replies "£60!!!"
paddy goes "yeah I only went to Butlins"
 
David Beckham's in the pub having some drinks with his mates, although Posh doesn't know. Suddenly his mobile rings, and Posh is on the other end.

Bleedin hell, he says, how did you know I was here?
 
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