Friday jokes

For his birthday, little Joey asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said, "Son, we'd love to get you one, but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 and your Mum just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it." The next day the father saw little Joey heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, "Son, where are you going?" Little Joey told him; "I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling Mum you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I'll be fucked if I'm staying here by myself with a $280,000 mortgage and no fucking bike!"
 
blumoon said:
A boy lost his job in a chip shop. His dad goes to find out why.
The owner says "I found him with a potatoe peeler up his arse"
Dad say's "May I see the potatoe peeler?"
Owner replies "No, I fired him as well"
Click to expand...
lol
 
I like that one of the late Bernard Mannings .....

A bloke walks into a church hall for a residents meeting to find one group of people sat on the left .... and another group sat on the right

he approaches the 'usher' , who explains to him that everyone sat on the left is a twat ...... and all those on the right are c*nts

the bloke can't quite believe what he's hearing , and shouts back ....'hey , i'm no twat'!

At which the usher replies ...... 'Well go and sit over there with the c*nts then'!
 
TFC said:
For his birthday, little Joey asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said, "Son, we'd love to get you one, but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 and your Mum just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it." The next day the father saw little Joey heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, "Son, where are you going?" Little Joey told him; "I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling Mum you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I'll be fucked if I'm staying here by myself with a $280,000 mortgage and no fucking bike!"
Click to expand...



he he he he great joke
 
fallowfieldflyer said:
TFC said:
For his birthday, little Joey asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said, "Son, we'd love to get you one, but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 and your Mum just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it." The next day the father saw little Joey heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, "Son, where are you going?" Little Joey told him; "I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling Mum you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I'll be fucked if I'm staying here by myself with a $280,000 mortgage and no fucking bike!"
Click to expand...



he he he he great joke
Click to expand...
very good :)
 
A young fellow ran into an old man who was carrying a bag.

"What's in the bag?" the youngster asked.

"magic apples", the old man replied.

"Prove it", said the young man.

"Well, besides apples, what is your favorite two fruits?" asked the old man.

"Watermelon and peaches", he answered.

The man handed him an apple and told him to try it out. The boy took a bite and said that it tasted like a watermelon. "Ok, turn it over", he said.

The boy did and took another bite and said that it tasted like a peach.

The youngster still wasn't convinced that they were magic.

The old fellow told him to name something else that he liked to eat.

"I like to eat pussy." he snapped.

The man handed him another apple and told him to try it.

He took a big bite, spit it out, wiped his mouth and exclaimed, "That tasted like shit".

The old man looked at him, smiled and said, "Turn it over."
 
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