Good Football Jokes!

[mcfc_die_hard]

Right im here at college and bored and could really do with some good jokes to wind my rag mates up!

Soif anyone has good ones that they can post then please feel free to post them :)

Oh and my football joke is the rags!

 

[mcfc-mike]

Q: Name three football clubs that contain swear words?

A: Arsenal, Scunthorpe and F*****g Manchester United

 

[Petr Čech]

What do you call a manchester united fan with half a brain?

Gifted.

 

[Stevies Bald Head!]

Liverpool!

 

[Zuriblue]

Sir Alex Ferguson and Rafa Benitez are having a drink with Roberto Mancini and Martin O'Neill. They are discussing the games and the drinks are flowing; Roberto on Menabrea, Martin on Brains SA, Rafa on Cruzcampo and Sir Alex on pints of Netto 7 week old Scotch.

Suddenly Sir Alex and Rafa get up, make their excuses and leave. Roberto, a relative newcomer to the Prem, looks quizzically at Martin who answers "It's time for them to go. It's the fourth round."

 

[Blue Coop]

Whats the difference between United/Liverpool and a Teabag?

A Teabag stays in the cup for longer.

 

[craigsteel]

The treble is on for Manchester City, Once was a joke but not any more, We really, We are really here.

 

[Scrabster Six]

Leeds United are to be sponsored by Cillitbang after proving they can get scum out of the cup.

 

[Ogl91]

So, any Liverpool or Manchester United fans attending the Reading and Leeds Festival this year?

 

[hertsblue]

One of the many books i got at Christmas is full of football quotes etc.

2 good ones for you

1st Jose:

"When Man Utd play well they win, when they dont play well, they get a penalty and win"

2nd Ron Akinson

" I never speak about the ref and i am not going to start now for that prat"