How do our players fornicate?

[Skashion]

On the back of one the most absurd Bluemoon threads ever in which Mario was charged with the shocking crime of having had sex with a woman, let's discuss our players fornicating.

*This is intended to be a light-hearted thread as they are in short supply at the moment.*

I'd have to say Billy Lot Jones was ironically named, because he didn't get any.

Frank Swift did but as his name suggests, it was over all far too quickly.

Sam Cowan, did get some, but was mocked as he favoured the bigger girl.

Bert Trautmann try as he might couldn't catch many fish.

David Wagstaffe often annoyed other players by bagging their wives and girlfriends.

Colin Bell appropriately named because he rarely put it away.

and so forth... Over to you.

 

[Juan King]

Probably build up quite well but run out of ideas where it counts. Lack of width & passion.

 

[grim up north]

definately lack of width

 

[cyprustavern]

paul dickov.......




(pull dick off)



enough said

 

[Lucky Toma]

Nasri is a tease whilst Johnson is impotent, his tackle soft as anything.

 

[Prestwich_Blue]

Dzeko will take a few attempts to get it on target.

NDJ will slide in quite hard but then wiggle from side to side and never thrust forward.

Franny Lee just dives onto his missus.

Kolarov will shoot his load from a long way out.

AJ always comes inside.

 

[Juan King]

Mario often looks miserable just after he has scored.

Milner always puts a shift in & gets up & down with ease.

 

[shootmeifipost10k]

Kolarov quite likes taking a good run up from the far side of the bedroom which means he'll sometimes miss the target but every now and then he just smashes it in there with a thud.

Nige simply slides it in from behind.

Tevez doesn't do it doggystle anymore, as always he gets himself into a real sweat but never finishes the job these days because he doesn't come on anything when he's had a good warm up.

 

[another generation]

Pizarro sits quietly in a corner of the bedroom, watching and biding his time. He then makes his move, slipping in at the first attempt and causing ripples of pleasure.

 

[FeedTheGoat10]

Johnson comes after 70 minutes