I have found that since I decided to just lie about it, I have convinced myself that I haven’t had any for years now. I don’t do sugar in tea or coffee, and to be honest would pass a law that condemns people who do to death, especially and always when I’m making them a cuppa. I don’t drink ginger at all, we call all fizzy soft drinks ginger. So, that’s good, but do I get praised for that? Take a stab in the fucking dark.
But back to hot beverages. How can you drink a hot sugary drink with savoury foods? Fucking animals the lot of you.
I have had to come up with new excuses for putting on a bit of weight, this week it’s chemtrails. I know they are a complete lie but there are so many fucking morons among us that I got away with that one. One person even said they made him look into peoples bedroom windows at night. I’m going out tonight with the ****, to make sure he doesn’t ruin flower beds on the way to the window.
Last week it was pesticides I blamed for weight gain, and next week I’m looking into claiming it’s a demon who comes in the night, puts me into a trance and makes me eat a lot of chocolate. My only wish is the **** would take the wrappers with him. I think he does that to make me go back to mass so some cunting saint can take him on. I can’t prove that,, but I will fight anyone who says I’m making this up. Even though I am.
So, lie to yourself. Never get caught eating sweet things, deny everything and blame everything except yourself. Bingo.
I’m here all week,,