Cold.
For years I was obsessed with City. Would know every in and out of the club, every rumour and development. I thought about the club every day. The Agueroooo goal was the greatest single moment of my life (I don't have kids). To have witnessed in person a moment like that was a privilege. But how can you match that? It puts everything in the shade. The dream was realised and once you've done that what else is there?
I grew up supporting a shit team but the dream that one day we might do something, anything was what I loved. The romance of it! The hard luck story, the Norman Wisdom character, plucky hilarious loveable loser who comes through in the end.
And there's no jeopardy. If we lose there's next week and we'll probably win. End the season without a trophy and there's next year where again we have a fair chance of winning one. Even when we're shit we're still better than most. There's no risk at all. No threat of relegation. No danger all our beat players will leave. No danger of going bust. It's all so comfortable.
The world of Premier League football is so alien to my life. I know they were all once kids like I was who kicked a ball around all day. They've worked hard to get where they are but it all seems so distant. It might seem hypocritical to say that when I cheered as loud as any when we finally did it, we finally toppled the great behemoth of an enemy in a remarkable way with a team of millionaires who cost an extravagant amount to put together.
My life has moved on. My job and missus take precedent and I've given up my season ticket this year. I can't say I miss it terribly. I rarely watch MOTD and would struggle to name the players in a lot of PL sides now.
What brought it home was listening to the League Cup final on the radio. My heart was racing but when we won something was different. Previous trophy wins brought unbridled joy. The cup was won and I made a brew. Maybe it's because I don't attend any more and the connection with the club is gone.
I never would have thought a few years ago that I'd feel this way. It's my fault really. The owners have done pretty much everything I would have asked for. It's perfect. Too perfect.
My other sporting love the Swinton Lions has my whole heart after years of sharing with City. I feel part of the club. It needs me. The players are lads like me who have a day job and work long hours and then put a shift in for the team. I'm proud of them in a way I struggle to feel for multi-millionaires. They shop in the same shops, drink in the same pubs, wear the same clothes as me. And there is a dream. The dream of returning to Swinton and our own stadium after nearly 25 years in the wilderness. Maybe when that dream is realised, things, like with City, will change.
I know I'm sounding like a right misery but that's just how I feel. An amicable parting of the ways. Great, great memories, some of the best of my life. But a gap has grown between us and I doubt it will ever be the same again.
