Husband walked in yesterday with a City doormat as a "birthday gift" He pretends to be blue but he's a filthy RAG. Should I smother him with it?

Fancy pretending to be a blue, the lying Rag. No doubt, he's afraid to admit he supports a team full of fraudulent, pouting children and preening clack wankers, all of whom are shite at football, belong in a pub team and whose manager looks like he would be happier manning the tills at Asda than managing the Shite. Pound Shop cluster wankers.
Honestly can't believe you married one Pam. Several of your posts on here over the years have given the impression that you are not especially fond of rags tbh.
 
And btw, it literally is a doormat. Way too small and flimsy for anyone to pretend it's a rug, least of all that closet Rag husband of mine. Gaslighting twat. He was laughing as he handed it over. I am open to suggestions about what's to be done about all this. Or is being a Rag with useless pub team players punishment enough for the lying clack-wanker.
Make the fucker sleep on it, every night.
 

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