It was quite amusing how it happened, I was in one of those shite nightclubs in Stockport with a mate off the football team I played for, Saturday night stuffed 8-1 or something stupid, so the pair of us went on the piss. Anyway few sherberts down I spot this mixed race bird, tight leopard skin dress, fit as fuck. My mate catches me having a perv, and starts giving it "out of your league" "You wouldnt even dare try" when he then said if i went and asked her out he would get the next two rounds and If I pulled he would buy the rest of the nights beer.
Two pints off him had to be worth getting told to fuck off, legs a shaking off I set toward this godess. I got within a few feet and bottled it, using the escape to the bog method, where I gave myself a talking too "come on you bellend, just go and ask to buy her a drink, get fucked off, and go and have two pints out of the fat bastard".
So deep breath out of the bog I stride straight over to where she was stood and with shaking hands taps her on the shoulder at which point she looked round....my mouth was now failing to function as was my brain and the simple "can I buy you a drink" failed to materialise and what came out was along the lines of (in croaky shitting it voice) "can I just ask you how a bloke like me could get an absolute godess like you" she replied "Am I supposed to answer that" To which I replied "yes please" I am now wanting the floor to open up or at least someone just to come and knock me out, when she says "I will come and join you in a few minutes after my mates stripper gram has been" (Hen night). For reasons best known to myself at the time I then said...."well thats a nice way to decline at least" she laughs and says "you dont think I will? Well go to the bar and get me a white wine" She then promptly throws her arms round me and gives me a massive snog (with tongues).
In the turmoil when this unexpected turn of events occured I recall whilst she was kissing me looking over her shoulder seeing my mate looking horrified but laughing his bollocks off at the same time....
I do appreciate that such tales of glory a rarely music to the ears of others but if its any consolation just 24hours later I was in fear of my life thinking I would not see daylight again such was her liking of my head being in those tits...Strong lass am lucky to be here to tell the tale.