If they weren't professional footballers they would be...

[svennis pennis]

An extra in the new planet of the apes film.

Circus midget.

Serving time.

See above

Sailor

 

[The Fat el Hombre]

Hahahaha. He's a proper little scouse oik that dipper

 

[Lucky Toma]

Professional scouser

 

[I Hart Man City]

On the dole and selling coke.

 

[Le Pop]

Rio Ferdinand - Gets people across the desert

 

[MCFC BOB]

would be:

 

[Rushton121]

Nigel De Jong - bare knuckle boxing champion

 

[DS 1956]

Re: If they weren't professional footballers they would be..

Jamie redknap = visiting his dad on b wing
Ronaldo = serving meals in albefuera and stinking of sardines.
Rooney = understudy to mike myers
Oshea = in Village people tribute band
Crouch = virgin

 

[bhoywonder]

Re: If they weren't professional footballers they would be..

Before his football career kicked off Dirk Kuyt was a movie star in the goonies so he is sorted.

 

[Pigeonho]

Re: If they weren't professional footballers they would be..

Joe Hart - porn star (possibly gay porn too)
Tevez - a gargoyle
Balotelli - in an asylum
AJ - an extra on Trainspotting
Gary Neville - dead
Phil Neville - unconcious on more than 10 occasions
Paul Bosvelt - starring with Hart