Is Jamie Oliver your brother?

He's a man who cooks food on tele and has a problem with excess saliva and dribbling.

I want to insult him but having posted the facts I feel they speak for themselves.

I wiped my arse about half an hour ago but that isn't on tele so why the fuck is some fat tongued gimp throwing some fucking beans into a microwave now the pinnacle of entertainment?

Mind you, he's better than the scrotum faced twat that is Gordon Ramsey...'ooh I swear and cook', fuck me, top man points to the bleached blonde fanny with the foul mouth.
 
dannybcity said:
I find TV chefs to be a right bunch of pretentious wankers as it is, Oliver however takes being a pretentious wanker to a whole new level.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2KqHWChebc[/youtube]

Morrissey knows the truth.
Click to expand...

God bless the bard, he probably objects to Oliver's fat tongued slaughtering of live animals on tele in the name of entertainment.
 
i look like jamie oliver

i can't cook like him, so i guess that makes me useless to society

off to find the nearest bridge.
 
nashark said:
Why do cooking programmes exist? You can't taste the food so it's pointless.
Click to expand...

If there was no cooking on TV we'd be left with programmes about builders building stuff and fat arsed women moaning that they can't fit into jeggings.
 
If Oliver was my brother I would kill myself. Not before killing my own mother for bringing into this world such an arrogant, delusional, hectoring, fat-faced, cunting prick.

There really should be a word that denotes both hypocrisy and irony. And if such a word did exist the definition in the Oxford English Dictionary would be a run-through of this little vignette from one of Oliver's programmes a couple of years back....
Jools Oliver, a woman who is known entirely for being the wife of somebody famous, is bemoaning media-intrusion into her families life.....whilst being filmed putting her children to bed......in a fucking cookery programme??!!!
But she doesn't hold exclusive hypocrisy rights in the camera-welcoming, assess-all-areas Oliver home. Her whale-tongued tosser of a husband has built a whole career upon it.

Here's a man who also bemoans the consequences of fame whilst having literally sold his grandmother to help obtain it (she appeared - loyal and doddery - in a Sainsbury's advert alongside him)

Here's a man who tyrannically advocates healthy eating yet who has patently gorged his podgy, piggy face into one too many trough.

Here's a man who piously lectures a nation on the evils of supermarkets, and their practices, whilst merrily biting the pillow for Sainsbury's.

Here is a man who has vigorously manufactured an image of being a 'cheeky chappy' yet is quite obviously a sour, supercilious, humourless little twat. Uttering quirky adjectives whilst twisting a pepper mill does not come close to defining a person's character.

Yet it is not these deeds that make me loathe the fucker a million times more than any other living soul upon this planet. Nor is it because he was largely responsible for polluting our ear holes with Toploader, though that act alone is worthy of the guillotine.
It is for this reason solely.....

I do not believe in 'compassion fatigue'. The staggering amounts raised for charity year after year in this country disproves the theory. I do however believe in 'campaign fatigue'. There is only a certain quota of celebrity-backed campaigns that can make it into the public consciousness and go on to have a real impact upon the political world. Oliver chose to use up a significant portion of this quota, not on homelessness, or domestic abuse, or knife-crime, or to highlight millions struggling to straddle the poverty line......but on fucking school dinners!!
Its okay if a kid walks to school contemplating leaving home for a life on the streets because his stepdad is beating the shit out of his mum, taking the long route because a lad who's bullying him has threatened to blade him, finally reaching a ramshackle building that hands out textbooks that are falling apart at the spine.....as long as that kid has a sprig of broccoli in his belly.
Nice work knobhead.
 
Lucky Toma said:
If Oliver was my brother I would kill myself. Not before killing my own mother for bringing into this world such an arrogant, delusional, hectoring, fat-faced, cunting prick.

There really should be a word that denotes both hypocrisy and irony. And if such a word did exist the definition in the Oxford English Dictionary would be a run-through of this little vignette from one of Oliver's programmes a couple of years back....
Jools Oliver, a woman who is known entirely for being the wife of somebody famous, is bemoaning media-intrusion into her families life.....whilst being filmed putting her children to bed......in a fucking cookery programme??!!!
But she doesn't hold exclusive hypocrisy rights in the camera-welcoming, assess-all-areas Oliver home. Her whale-tongued tosser of a husband has built a whole career upon it.

Here's a man who also bemoans the consequences of fame whilst having literally sold his grandmother to help obtain it (she appeared - loyal and doddery - in a Sainsbury's advert alongside him)

Here's a man who tyrannically advocates healthy eating yet who has patently gorged his podgy, piggy face into one too many trough.

Here's a man who piously lectures a nation on the evils of supermarkets, and their practices, whilst merrily biting the pillow for Sainsbury's.

Here is a man who has vigorously manufactured an image of being a 'cheeky chappy' yet is quite obviously a sour, supercilious, humourless little twat. Uttering quirky adjectives whilst twisting a pepper mill does not come close to defining a person's character.
Yet it is not these deeds that make me loathe the fucker a million times more than any other living soul upon this planet. Nor is it because he was largely responsible for polluting our ear holes with Toploader, though that act alone is worthy of the guillotine. It is for this reason solely.....

I do not believe in 'compassion fatigue'. The staggering amounts raised for charity year after year in this country disproves the theory. I do however believe in 'campaign fatigue'. There is only a certain quota of celebrity-backed campaigns that can make it into the public consciousness and go on to have a real impact upon the political world. Oliver chose to use up a significant portion of this quota, not on homelessness, or domestic abuse, or knife-crime, or to highlight millions struggling to straddle the poverty line......but on fucking school dinners!!
Its okay if a kid walks to school contemplating leaving home for a life on the streets because his stepdad is beating the shit out of his mum, taking the long route because a lad who's bullying him has threatened to blade him, finally reaching a ramshackle building that hands out textbooks that are falling apart at the spine.....as long as that kid has a sprig of broccoli in his belly.
Nice work knobhead.
Click to expand...

and i thought you liked me :(
 
Lucky Toma said:
If Oliver was my brother I would kill myself. Not before killing my own mother for bringing into this world such an arrogant, delusional, hectoring, fat-faced, cunting prick.

There really should be a word that denotes both hypocrisy and irony. And if such a word did exist the definition in the Oxford English Dictionary would be a run-through of this little vignette from one of Oliver's programmes a couple of years back....
Jools Oliver, a woman who is known entirely for being the wife of somebody famous, is bemoaning media-intrusion into her families life.....whilst being filmed putting her children to bed......in a fucking cookery programme??!!!
But she doesn't hold exclusive hypocrisy rights in the camera-welcoming, assess-all-areas Oliver home. Her whale-tongued tosser of a husband has built a whole career upon it.

Here's a man who also bemoans the consequences of fame whilst having literally sold his grandmother to help obtain it (she appeared - loyal and doddery - in a Sainsbury's advert alongside him)

Here's a man who tyrannically advocates healthy eating yet who has patently gorged his podgy, piggy face into one too many trough.

Here's a man who piously lectures a nation on the evils of supermarkets, and their practices, whilst merrily biting the pillow for Sainsbury's.

Here is a man who has vigorously manufactured an image of being a 'cheeky chappy' yet is quite obviously a sour, supercilious, humourless little twat. Uttering quirky adjectives whilst twisting a pepper mill does not come close to defining a person's character.
Yet it is not these deeds that make me loathe the fucker a million times more than any other living soul upon this planet. Nor is it because he was largely responsible for polluting our ear holes with Toploader, though that act alone is worthy of the guillotine. It is for this reason solely.....

I do not believe in 'compassion fatigue'. The staggering amounts raised for charity year after year in this country disproves the theory. I do however believe in 'campaign fatigue'. There is only a certain quota of celebrity-backed campaigns that can make it into the public consciousness and go on to have a real impact upon the political world. Oliver chose to use up a significant portion of this quota, not on homelessness, or domestic abuse, or knife-crime, or to highlight millions struggling to straddle the poverty line......but on fucking school dinners!!
Its okay if a kid walks to school contemplating leaving home for a life on the streets because his stepdad is beating the shit out of his mum, taking the long route because a lad who's bullying him has threatened to blade him, finally reaching a ramshackle building that hands out textbooks that are falling apart at the spine.....as long as that kid has a sprig of broccoli in his belly.
Nice work knobhead.
Click to expand...

You typed all that when you could have just posted the word 'twat' :)
 
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