Is this racism

give it to gordon said:
Not know if it worth bring this up at work.

We went over to the main office last week which has the visitor information centre in there.
We walked in a the vic volunteer was dealing with a customer so we just walked upstairs. Anyway she shout at us and asked if she could help. I said it's OK we work here.
Anyway about 10 minutes later she came up to the office and started having a right go at us. Saying how rude we were etc, for not saying help and who we were. We weren't allowed to speak lol we tried to explain that she was dealing with a member of the public. Anyway my colleague left she was than told that I was his boss. She than said " I bet you just go back and say that silly black woman"
I didn't like the refence that I would mention her colour. Something I would never do.
Today she had another pop at me as I was working in the office, saying she won't apologise to me. I haven't even asked for an apology lol.

I'm having a chat with the lady who runs the vic I'm not happy about her saying I would use her colour in chat.

Am I being abit of a snowflake ?
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I don't like the word snowflake and you have not done anything wrong as far as she is concerned.
 
Perhaps she's just very proud of her role managing incoming visitors and felt that you undermined her in some way (albeit unintentionally).
 
I can sympathise as had something very similar happen a couple of Years ago. Went to our Companies main HQ and its huge, multiple big buildings spread out over a private estate. Knew who I was meeting yet happened to walk into the wrong building and caused huge offence to a black Lady who had a walking stick... at the time I genuinely never even thought anything of the colour of her skin, held the door open as she hobbled through and just thought it a bit weird as she never acknowledged that I'd held the door open or fuckall.

2 weeks after I get a phone call from my Manager as I've had a complaint made against me, she had literally made a complaint with an assumption that I'd held the door for her as she was a black crippled lady and it was downright rude of me and demanded an apology. I basically told my Manager she could have been a pink dress wearing man and I'd have still held the door, it's just being polite and I would not apologise and how dare she assume what I thought of her! He left it as he knew I wasn't backing down and I only recently found out when he retired that the spineless bastard had written an apology in my name to calm it down, I was absolutely fuming.

Nowt stranger than Humans I guess!
 
give it to gordon said:
Not know if it worth bring this up at work.

We went over to the main office last week which has the visitor information centre in there.
We walked in a the vic volunteer was dealing with a customer so we just walked upstairs. Anyway she shout at us and asked if she could help. I said it's OK we work here.
Anyway about 10 minutes later she came up to the office and started having a right go at us. Saying how rude we were etc, for not saying help and who we were. We weren't allowed to speak lol we tried to explain that she was dealing with a member of the public. Anyway my colleague left she was than told that I was his boss. She than said " I bet you just go back and say that silly black woman"
I didn't like the refence that I would mention her colour. Something I would never do.
Today she had another pop at me as I was working in the office, saying she won't apologise to me. I haven't even asked for an apology lol.

I'm having a chat with the lady who runs the vic I'm not happy about her saying I would use her colour in chat.

Am I being abit of a snowflake ?
Click to expand...
Dont apologise,go round to where she lives and shit through her letter box,now she has something to complain about,you can thank me later :)
 
blue b4 the moon said:
Looks like it's her problem....is it cos I am black syndrome.
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give it to gordon said:
Not know if it worth bring this up at work.

We went over to the main office last week which has the visitor information centre in there.
We walked in a the vic volunteer was dealing with a customer so we just walked upstairs. Anyway she shout at us and asked if she could help. I said it's OK we work here.
Anyway about 10 minutes later she came up to the office and started having a right go at us. Saying how rude we were etc, for not saying help and who we were. We weren't allowed to speak lol we tried to explain that she was dealing with a member of the public. Anyway my colleague left she was than told that I was his boss. She than said " I bet you just go back and say that silly black woman"
I didn't like the refence that I would mention her colour. Something I would never do.
Today she had another pop at me as I was working in the office, saying she won't apologise to me. I haven't even asked for an apology lol.

I'm having a chat with the lady who runs the vic I'm not happy about her saying I would use her colour in chat.

Am I being abit of a snowflake ?
Click to expand...
Yes you are being a bit of a snowflake, grow a pair and get over it.

If that's your biggest worry of the day, then you had a really fortunate day, because there are many, many people who have real issues and would gladly swap with you.

There are far greater issues to address than making one of something so petty as this. You're a grown man, not a teenager at school.
 
Fuck me running, finally caved and read this post.

…..I’ll just leave it there, ffs the world is fucked if this is a real problem
 
Hard to quite work this out without knowing the criteria for visitors to this center. Does the woman have to vet them before they are allowed in? If she is dealing with somebody and a group of people just wander past her and she doesn't know who they are and hasn't been given prior warning you are coming, then she would think she has to challenge you to wait so she can check your credentials. If you all just waltz past shouting you work there she would probably feel her authority was being undermined and you were being dismissive of that.
She shouldn't however turn your perceive rudeness into a race issue. It was clearly miscommunication and it appears her ego has been bruised by it. As she seems to be carrying on this episode and is still angry about it then yes it now needs putting to bed once and for all. I'd take a witness with you and explain you need to talk to her to clear up the apparent misunderstanding with the incident as she still seems upset about it. Explain this is nothing official as you don't want it to get out of hand but it clearly needs rectifying. If it isn't sorted then yes you'd have to take it further as it could escalate.
 
SiMCFC said:
I can sympathise as had something very similar happen a couple of Years ago. Went to our Companies main HQ and its huge, multiple big buildings spread out over a private estate. Knew who I was meeting yet happened to walk into the wrong building and caused huge offence to a black Lady who had a walking stick... at the time I genuinely never even thought anything of the colour of her skin, held the door open as she hobbled through and just thought it a bit weird as she never acknowledged that I'd held the door open or fuckall.

2 weeks after I get a phone call from my Manager as I've had a complaint made against me, she had literally made a complaint with an assumption that I'd held the door for her as she was a black crippled lady and it was downright rude of me and demanded an apology. I basically told my Manager she could have been a pink dress wearing man and I'd have still held the door, it's just being polite and I would not apologise and how dare she assume what I thought of her! He left it as he knew I wasn't backing down and I only recently found out when he retired that the spineless bastard had written an apology in my name to calm it down, I was absolutely fuming.

Nowt stranger than Humans I guess!
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That's bloody crazy.
 
paulchapo said:
Hard to quite work this out without knowing the criteria for visitors to this center. Does the woman have to vet them before they are allowed in? If she is dealing with somebody and a group of people just wander past her and she doesn't know who they are and hasn't been given prior warning you are coming, then she would think she has to challenge you to wait so she can check your credentials. If you all just waltz past shouting you work there she would probably feel her authority was being undermined and you were being dismissive of that.
She shouldn't however turn your perceive rudeness into a race issue. It was clearly miscommunication and it appears her ego has been bruised by it. As she seems to be carrying on this episode and is still angry about it then yes it now needs putting to bed once and for all. I'd take a witness with you and explain you need to talk to her to clear up the apparent misunderstanding with the incident as she still seems upset about it. Explain this is nothing official as you don't want it to get out of hand but it clearly needs rectifying. If it isn't sorted then yes you'd have to take it further as it could escalate.
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She is a volunteer to give information to visitors. She has no power over us staff. We don't have to report to her and she has been told this. We had our hiz viz with the company name on the back.

She seems to think she is in charge lol

She came yesterday and had another pop at me.
 
give it to gordon said:
She is a volunteer to give information to visitors. She has no power over us staff. We don't have to report to her and she has been told this. We had our hiz viz with the company name on the back.

She seems to think she is in charge lol

She came yesterday and had another pop at me.
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Then it needs sorting asap. She clearly has issues and worse a vendetta against yourself.
 
There's a useless bastard a work, who also happens to be Asian. My manager was put on leave while an investigation was done into him being racist, purely down to him telling the guy he needs to improve in his year end review.
You get lazy, useless cunts of all races and some just use the fear of being called racist to their advantage.
There's also a trend in the office of some white women claiming sexism for everything and anything to try and get ahead
 
paulchapo said:
Then it needs sorting asap. She clearly has issues and worse a vendetta against yourself.
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I disagree.

The option is to overwhelm her with kindness. What that looks like to the OP is what he should decide.

I've had my own experience of direct racism from a former friend's father who, plainly said to my face, he didn't like me cos of the colour of my skin. At first, I took offence, but then I decided to just get in his bubble and have a conversation. I did that repeatedly and he came to see me as just a guy, like him, and we got on famously until his death.

For the OP, kindness could just be offering up a 'good morning' or 'how are you doing today?' without stopping too long for a chat if he doesn't want to.

She'll, eventually, shut up, speak with him or somebody else will report her behaviour as maybe she has mental issues. He doesn't need to attack her as she is doing to him.
 
Bigga said:
I disagree.

The option is to overwhelm her with kindness. What that looks like to the OP is what he should decide.

I've had my own experience of direct racism from a former friend's father who, plainly said to my face, he didn't like me cos of the colour of my skin. At first, I took offence, but then I decided to just get in his bubble and have a conversation. I did that repeatedly and he came to see me as just a guy, like him, and we got on famously until his death.

For the OP, kindness could just be offering up a 'good morning' or 'how are you doing today?' without stopping too long for a chat if he doesn't want to.

She'll, eventually, shut up, speak with him or somebody else will report her behaviour as maybe she has mental issues. He doesn't need to attack her as she is doing to him.
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No this probably won't work if he has limited contact with her as it sounds as if he doesn't get the opportunity or time to kill her with kindness.
She is still seething and now holds a grudge as she appears to visit his office a lot and have a go at him. I'm a bit confused as to why a volunteer in another building needs to visit his office but it appears she is doing so. It needs nipping in the bud now. If he leaves it and she makes a complaint to senior management about him citing racism it enters a whole new dangerous territory.
 
paulchapo said:
No this probably won't work if he has limited contact with her as it sounds as if he doesn't get the opportunity or time to kill her with kindness.
She is still seething and now holds a grudge as she appears to visit his office a lot and have a go at him. I'm a bit confused as to why a volunteer in another building needs to visit his office but it appears she is doing so. It needs nipping in the bud now. If he leaves it and she makes a complaint to senior management about him citing racism it enters a whole new dangerous territory.
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Again, I disagree.

He's never alone with her, so it seems, so she won't have a complaint to stand on if others come forward.

If they come across each other, he just has to remain cordial as others will witness.
 
Bigga said:
Again, I disagree.

He's never alone with her, so it seems, so she won't have a complaint to stand on if others come forward.

If they come across each other, he just has to remain cordial as others will witness.
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We've gone as far as we can with this conversation as we both have very different views on how he should deal with it. In the end he has to decide.
 
Actually, i've changed my mind.
This is racism. Against you.
She's victimising you because she can because she's going to play the racism card if you fire back.
Seen it happen many times.

Tell your line manager. Be smart.
HR won't want to touch this with a bargepole.
 
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