Jim'll fix it!

Kun Aguero said:
220px-St%C3%B6wer_Titanic.jpg


Out-take 3:09'36
During the headline round:
DEAYTON: You used to be a wrestler didn't you?
SAVILLE: I still am.
DEAYTON: Are you?
SAVILLE: I'm feared in every girls' school in the country.
(Audience laugh)
DEAYTON: Yeah, I've heard about that.
SAVILLE: What have you heard?
DEAYTON: I've...
MERTON: Something about a **** with a rancid, pus-filled cock.
(Huge audience laugh; Awkward pause)
SAVILLE: I advise you to wash your mouth out, my friend...
MERTON: That's what she had to do! (Audience laughs)
HISLOP: Weren't you leaving money in phone boxes or something?
(Saville glares at him) Or have I got completely the wrong end of the...
SAVILLE: (To Deayton, heavily) The question you asked was about wrestling.
DEAYTON: Yes. And then you mentioned girls' schools. I don't know whe...
SAVILLE: Well I understood this was a comedy programme. I realise now how wrong I was. (Audience laugh)
DEAYTON: So were you a professional wrestler?
SAVILLE: Yes I was.
DEAYTON: (To audience) Glad we got that cleared up.(Pulls face; audience giggles)
HISLOP: Feared by every girls' school in the country...
SAVILLE: That's right.
MERTON: Due to having a rancid, pus-filled cock.(Huge audience laugh)
DEAYTON: Erm...
HISLOP: You're on top form tonight, Paul...
SAVILLE: (Strangely) I'm...this is not what I...
FLOOR MANAGER: (OOV) OK, do you...(inaudible section)...shall we, for pick-ups...
MERTON: I'm terribly sorry. I don't know what came over me.
SAVILLE: A pus-filled cock, I imagine. (Shocked audience laugh)
MERTON: Oh, it's nice to see you joining in. We'd been waiting for you, you sad senile old shitter. (Audience appears to do double-take)
DEAYTON: I think we...d-d-you you want to apologise to our guest, Paul?
MERTON: Sorry, I do apologise. Sir senile old shitter, is what I meant to say.
(Audience laugh; pause) Sir senile old shitter...who fucks minors.
(Audience unrest)
HISLOP: Sorry, I'm just looking at our lawyer again. (Waves) Hello!
(Audience laughs)
DEAYTON: Shall we get back on course with this, or sha...
SAVILLE: I do fuck miners, that's quite correct. I have always done so. They can do the most wonderful things with cigars. The coal...
MERTON: What, they stick them up your senile, pus-filled arse?
(Audience laughs)
FLOOR MANAGER: (OOV): Come on...I'm getting an ear-bashing here. It's...
MERTON: Oh they want to continue. Sorry, I'll contain myself. Carry on...
DEAYTON: Right (Pause) You used to be a professional wrestler didn't you?
(Huge audience laugh)
SAVILLE: (Calmly) I did.
DEAYTON: You didn't have a nickname or anything?
SAVILLE: Yes - 'Loser'. (Audience laughs)
___________________________________
Out-take 4: 21'20
Following a discussion about caravans:
DEAYTON: Last month, Roger Moore sold his luxury caravan in Malta. Asked by the...
MERTON: I visited your caravan the other week, Jimmy.
SAVILLE: Did you really?
MERTON: Oh yes. Interesting what you can find, if you have a bit of a poke.
(Audience laugh)
HISLOP: He just told you, it was twelve years ago...
SAVILLE: No, I lived in it for twelve years.
MERTON: And fucked twelve year olds. (Audience laugh)
DEAYTON: Here we go again...I'll be backstage if anyone wants me.
MERTON: (Indicating Saville) That's what you said to the kids on your show, wasn't it?
(Audience laugh)
SAVILLE: No, they never did want me.
HISLOP: Not even Sarah Cornley?
SAVILLE: She was an exception.
DEAYTON: Who's Sarah Cornley?
SAVILLE: Sarah Cornley is...
HISLOP: About fifteen grand in damages, wasn't she?
(Uncertain audience laugh)
SAVILLE: That's right.
HISLOP: So if I was going to mention that you threatened to break her arm if she said anything...
SAVILLE: You'd be very wrong. (Pause) I said I'd break both her arms.
(Audience unease)
MERTON: Fucking hell. I mean, you're just sitting there, all shell suit and cigar wearing those fucking...I don't know what they are.
SAVILLE: Chrome-plated SC-700 sun-visors, these are. Sent to me by...
MERTON: We don't give a shit. Ladies and gentlemen, Sir James Saville OBE. Jim has fixed it for me to have my arms broken. Meet this depressing old fucked up **** of a fucker on television who's riddled with cancer and fucking pubic lice.
HISLOP: (To lawyer again) Hello! (Audience laughs)
MERTON: Christ, I mean ha ha, big fucking joke - the fucking lawyers are involved, tee hee. It doesn't change anything.
DEAYTON: (Visibly out of character) Do you wanna stop, or...?
MERTON: No I don't fucking want to stop. It's all shit! You'll expect a comedy walkout in a minute, won't you? I mean, big bloody joke - I'm going to quote Shakespeare in a minute, how fucking out of character. And Ian knows about football - oh my fucking sides.
SAVILLE: You've never fucked anyone in your life, boy.
MERTON: Oh fuck off...
FLOOR MANAGER: (OOV) ...About five minutes, just to...(Phil Davey enters)
PHIL DAVEY: OK, well top that as they say. You're looking troubled by that, aren't you mate? I tell you, I came back from Amsterdam recently...
RECORDING PLACED ON STAND-BY; CUTS BACK TO CLOSE-UP OF DEAYTON
AWAITING HIS CUE
DEAYTON: OK. Second time lucky. (Pause) Last month, Roger Moore sold his luxury caravan in Malta. Asked by the New York Times about his relaxed acting style...
Click to expand...
Click to expand...


You post this as if it is a genuine outtake from HIGNFY. It is in fact a piece of fiction.
 
There's all sorts of rumours about Saville. Jersey kids homes, politicians, The Masons, the guy out of Steptoe and Son. Didn't they start with The Nolans on Top of the Pops. Who knows what's true but I don't think internet myths help the causes of abused kids.
 
He was a good friend of my late great uncle many years ago when he was a wrestler
 
Hamann Pineapple said:
There's all sorts of rumours about Saville. Jersey kids homes, politicians, The Masons, the guy out of Steptoe and Son. Didn't they start with The Nolans on Top of the Pops. Who knows what's true but I don't think internet myths help the causes of abused kids.
Click to expand...
Hadn't heard that one. Care to expand?
 
jimharri said:
Hamann Pineapple said:
There's all sorts of rumours about Saville. Jersey kids homes, politicians, The Masons, the guy out of Steptoe and Son. Didn't they start with The Nolans on Top of the Pops. Who knows what's true but I don't think internet myths help the causes of abused kids.
Click to expand...
Hadn't heard that one. Care to expand?
Click to expand...

Accused of touching the younger one inappropriately, the other sisters weren't happy about it.
 
Hamann Pineapple said:
jimharri said:
Hamann Pineapple said:
There's all sorts of rumours about Saville. Jersey kids homes, politicians, The Masons, the guy out of Steptoe and Son. Didn't they start with The Nolans on Top of the Pops. Who knows what's true but I don't think internet myths help the causes of abused kids.
Click to expand...
Hadn't heard that one. Care to expand?
Click to expand...

Accused of touching the younger one inappropriately, the other sisters weren't happy about it.
Click to expand...

There a youtube clip of him with his arm around one of the Nolans and you can see she's really creeped out by him.
 
Hamann Pineapple said:
jimharri said:
Hamann Pineapple said:
There's all sorts of rumours about Saville. Jersey kids homes, politicians, The Masons, the guy out of Steptoe and Son. Didn't they start with The Nolans on Top of the Pops. Who knows what's true but I don't think internet myths help the causes of abused kids.
Click to expand...
Hadn't heard that one. Care to expand?
Click to expand...

Accused of touching the younger one inappropriately, the other sisters weren't happy about it.
Click to expand...
The one off Loose Women; Coleen?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Unread Posts

Don't have an account? Register now and see fewer ads!

SIGN UP
Back
Top
✖
  AdBlock Detected
Bluemoon relies on advertising to pay our hosting fees. Please support the site by disabling your ad blocking software to help keep the forum sustainable. Thanks.