Job interviews - extracting the Michael

[metalblue]

I'd have said it was a piece of paper

 

[metalblue]

We have some good friends who's son applied to Oxford university to study law.
He went down for the interview and after the introductions and formalities were done
the Don who was interviewing him simply placed a piece of blank A4 paper in front him and asked 'What is that?'

What would you have said?

It's an opportunity.

Ah but he didn't ask what it represented but rather the factual what is it

 

[gordondaviesmoustache]

We have some good friends who's son applied to Oxford university to study law.
He went down for the interview and after the introductions and formalities were done
the Don who was interviewing him simply placed a piece of blank A4 paper in front him and asked 'What is that?'

What would you have said?

I hate shit like that. I once got asked if the glass in front of me was half full or half empty. I replied 'neither'.

My favourite job interview was for a fairly senior role in a relatively small plc based in central Southern England in the mid-nineties. It was with one bloke, my potential line manager, and he asked me to meet him in a pub called the Crown and Horns at East Ilsley, between Newbury and Oxford.

I was very young for the role I was attempting to secure and wasn't at all sure what to expect. The interview consisted of a completely normal conversation, over a pint, with a bloke who i then discovered was a significant shareholder in this business.

It probably lasted around half an hour after which he said he'd be in touch when he had a vacancy. He did say he was looking to bring some younger blood into his team, but revealed little else. Around three months later he arranged an interview of sorts with the company's MD and a few weeks after that he offered me the job.

I worked there for four years and when he was forced out of the company some four years later I left myself around a month later. He really was my mentor. A real man of integrity, who also loved a drink. He lived in an idylic thatched cottage in the next village along from that pub, which explained the venue. More than anybody else in my working life, at least until very recently, I looked up to, respected and admired this man who later came to tell me that whether you would go for a pint with someone was as important a yardstick as there was when deciding to employ someone.

A truly great bloke.

 

[andyhinch]

The strangest one I had was years ago, sat down with the MD, we didn't talk about engineering, he'd seen what car I'd come in, says to me, so have you ever shagged your girlfriend in that, must be difficult. I got the job, must have been graphic in my answer:)

 

[TGR]

We have some good friends who's son applied to Oxford university to study law.
He went down for the interview and after the introductions and formalities were done
the Don who was interviewing him simply placed a piece of blank A4 paper in front him and asked 'What is that?'

What would you have said?

It's an opportunity.

Ah but he didn't ask what it represented but rather the factual what is it

I'll tell how our friends son replied...

The blank piece of paper was presented to him and he was asked 'what is that?'
He paused for thought for a while (both for effect and time to think) and then he simply said:
'that's my future'. and nothing more. He then stayed silent.
The Don (eventually) asked him 'to expand'
He replied 'that piece of paper represents me and what I can be and what I can become. It can be as full or as
empty as I choose it to be' If i work hard that piece of paper can represent success etc etc'

He got accepted into Oxford and is now studying there.

 

[supercity88]

It's an opportunity.

Ah but he didn't ask what it represented but rather the factual what is it

I'll tell how our friends son replied...

The blank piece of paper was presented to him and he was asked 'what is that?'
He paused for thought for a while (both for effect and time to think) and then he simply said:
'that's my future'. and nothing more. He then stayed silent.
The Don (eventually) asked him 'to expand'
He replied 'that piece of paper represents me and what I can be and what I can become. It can be as full or as
empty as I choose it to be' If i work hard that piece of paper can represent success etc etc'

He got accepted into Oxford and is now studying there.

What a bunch of bollocks.

 

[malg]

Yesterday, I had the most harrowing job interview of my entire life. Honestly. Nobody took notes; nobody made eye contact, nobody listened and nobody asked even one question that actually made sense. The people on the panel were incoherent. It would have been quicker if they had told me to fuck off right at the beginning to save any confusion. It definitely wasn't my fault. I have been consistently good at job interviews for years. I usually know what to say. But yesterday, I might as well have been at the circus for all the fucking use it was and I might as well have been talking to Billy Smart, Zebedee and fucking Bungle from Rainbow for all the sense the three interviewers made. Piss-taking twats. I will kick their heads in.

Anyway, your worst ever interview stories woiuld cheer me up.

Maybe they were just going through the motions and already had someone lined up for the job. This happens a lot in the Civil Service and the NHS - they have to go through the motions of advertising the role, and then interviewing, knowing full well that an internal candidate has the job sewn up.

Personally, I've never actually had a bad interview, but having interviewed a good few people in my time I can tell you that, at times, it's no better on the other side of the desk!

 

[supercity88]

We have some good friends who's son applied to Oxford university to study law.
He went down for the interview and after the introductions and formalities were done
the Don who was interviewing him simply placed a piece of blank A4 paper in front him and asked 'What is that?'

What would you have said?

I hate shit like that. I once got asked if the glass in front of me was half full or half empty. I replied 'neither'.

My favourite job interview was for a fairly senior role in a relatively small plc based in central Southern England in the mid-nineties. It was with one bloke, my potential line manager, and he asked me to meet him in a pub called the Crown and Horns at East Ilsley, between Newbury and Oxford.

I was very young for the role I was attempting to secure and wasn't at all sure what to expect. The interview consisted of a completely normal conversation, over a pint, with a bloke who i then discovered was a significant shareholder in this business.

It probably lasted around half an hour after which he said he'd be in touch when he had a vacancy. He did say he was looking to bring some younger blood into his team, but revealed little else. Around three months later he arranged an interview of sorts with the company's MD and a few weeks after that he offered me the job.

I worked there for four years and when he was forced out of the company some four years later I left myself around a month later. He really was my mentor. A real man of integrity, who also loved a drink. He lived in an idylic thatched cottage in the next village along from that pub, which explained the venue. More than anybody else in my working life, at least until very recently, I looked up to, respected and admired this man who later came to tell me that whether you would go for a pint with someone was as important a yardstick as there was when deciding to employ someone.

A truly great bloke.

That's more like it. In my industry there are so many people at the top because of who their Dads were and who they know. I hate that shit. Going to interviews with a bunch of nancy haired double barrelled surname wankers who look like clones and chat bollocks. I went to a job interview were I had a chat over a beer and got into the depths of the job I would be doing, what I would actually do in a situation as opposed to the usual bollocks like "what is your greatest achievement in life" where all you do is blag a shit story into one that sounds heroic. I like honesty and I like facts. If any of us were asked that then the one that replied "I drank 20 pints and wasn't hungover the next day" would go down better with me than the one that said "probably the time when I climbed mount everest" because at the time I was 21 and the only people that have done that are ones that have had Daddy pay for them to.

 

[Pelly Greeny]

Best one I had involved the Manager who was interviewing asking 'is this yours?' holding up my cv?

I looked and confirmed it was. He threw it behind him and said 'talk to me cos' those things are usually a load of bollocks'

Went well, he rang the guy who'd recommended me as I was shown round the office then called me back to tell me that providing everything checked out I started the following Monday.


In an internal vacancy interview I remember being asked how I referred to my 'customers' and to give some examples - I was in financial sales and said I don't really recommend any of my clients to anyone else as I'd been told not to just in case they didn't live up to expectations and it could reflect badly on the bank. They kept repeating the question until I just shook my head and said I just don't refer at all.

Got a visit from one of the guys interviewing and he explained that the bank have to use a certain set of of fixed questions and cannot expand on them if the interviewee doesn't get it. Turns out my 'customers' were my banking colleagues who advised on loans, mortgages, insurances etc - FFS had they said that I'd have rattled a load off.

 

[another generation]

The strangest one I had was years ago, sat down with the MD, we didn't talk about engineering, he'd seen what car I'd come in, says to me, so have you ever shagged your girlfriend in that, must be difficult. I got the job, must have been graphic in my answer:)

What model of car?