u2fme2
Well-Known Member
A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath…
‘Mom’, he asked, ‘Are these my brains?’
‘Not yet,’ she replied.
‘Mom’, he asked, ‘Are these my brains?’
‘Not yet,’ she replied.
joke of the week !!!!
- Thread starter u2fme2
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BlueHammer85
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- Joined
- 13 Oct 2010
- Messages
- 36,997
-- Thu Feb 24, 2011 1:38 am --
jimharri
Moderator
What do you call an Argentinian who has forgotten where he parked his car?
Carlos.
Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome on board this Ryanair flight.
In the event of a sudden drop in cabin pressure, masks will drop down from above you. Please insert 5 Euros for oxygen.
Scotland's friendliest motorway?
M8.
I'm not travelling on the London Tube again.
The sign said, "Dogs must be carried on the escalator".
Could I find a fucking dog?
Why won't Al Qaida ever bomb a Ryanair flight?
Because they want to go straight to paradise, not 30 miles away and have to take a taxi.
Carlos.
Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome on board this Ryanair flight.
In the event of a sudden drop in cabin pressure, masks will drop down from above you. Please insert 5 Euros for oxygen.
Scotland's friendliest motorway?
M8.
I'm not travelling on the London Tube again.
The sign said, "Dogs must be carried on the escalator".
Could I find a fucking dog?
Why won't Al Qaida ever bomb a Ryanair flight?
Because they want to go straight to paradise, not 30 miles away and have to take a taxi.
BlueHammer85
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 13 Oct 2010
- Messages
- 36,997
-- Thu Feb 24, 2011 1:43 am --
u2fme2
Well-Known Member
man walks into a bar and orders one shot. Then he looks into his shirt pocket and orders another shot. After he finishes, he looks into his shirt pocket again and orders another shot.
The bartender is curious and askes him "every time you order a shot, you look in your shirt pocket. Why?"
The man replies, "I have a picture of my wife in my pocket and when she starts to look good, I go home."
The bartender is curious and askes him "every time you order a shot, you look in your shirt pocket. Why?"
The man replies, "I have a picture of my wife in my pocket and when she starts to look good, I go home."
bluemooncol
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 6 Sep 2008
- Messages
- 588
A man is at the bar, he orders 10 doubles of whiskey, lines them all up and drinks non stop until they are all gone.
The barman starts worry, asking if anything is wrong, the man says "you would do the same if you had what i do", barman replies "why what have you got?"
"About 13p"
The barman starts worry, asking if anything is wrong, the man says "you would do the same if you had what i do", barman replies "why what have you got?"
"About 13p"
tueartsboots
Well-Known Member
This guy walks into a bar in the Rhonda Valley and orders a white wine. Everybody sitting around the bar looks up, surprised, and the bartender looks around and says: "You ain't from around here, are ya... where ya from, boy?"
The guy says, "I'm from Guildford."
The bartender asks, "What th' hell you do in Guildford?"
The guy responds, "I'm a taxidermist."
The bartender asks, "A taxidermist... now just what th' hell is a taxidermist?"
The guy says "I mount animals."
The bartender grins and shouts out to the whole bar, "It's OK boys, he's one of us!"
The guy says, "I'm from Guildford."
The bartender asks, "What th' hell you do in Guildford?"
The guy responds, "I'm a taxidermist."
The bartender asks, "A taxidermist... now just what th' hell is a taxidermist?"
The guy says "I mount animals."
The bartender grins and shouts out to the whole bar, "It's OK boys, he's one of us!"
u2fme2
Well-Known Member
A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in court." said the Desk Sergeant. "No, no no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"