pee dubyas crayons
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Please can someone come up with a good one.
Thanks,
Thanks,
Jokes about United?
- Thread starter pee dubyas crayons
- Start date
Maintainin
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pee dubyas crayons said:
Prestwich_Blue
Well-Known Member
A good United joke? Gary Neville!
The best one I know is this one:
Baconface is talking to Arsene Wenger after a game “I really admire how your players are not just physically fit but mentally sharp as well. Some of mine are a bit dense and I’m sure they’d be a lot better if they were a bit brighter.”
Wenger said “That is easy. Not only do I do physical training for my players but I do mental training as well.”
“What do you mean” asks Baconface. “I’ll show you” said Wenger and calls Fabregas over. “Cesc, this person is the son of your father but is not your brother. Who is it?” Fabregas thinks for a moment and says “It’s me!” Wenger turns to Baconface and say “See – that’s how I do it.”
Fergie thinks about this and when he’s back at Carrington, he calls Gary Neville in after training. “Gary – I need you to be mentally sharper so I’m going to ask you a question.” Gary looks a bit puzzled but says “OK boss. Whatever you say.” So Baconface asks him the same question that Wenger asked. “That’s a tough one boss,” says Chuckle, can I have a while to think about it?”
“Well you really need to answer quickly but as it’s your first one I’ll give you till tomorrow morning to think about it.” Chuckle thinks about it all the way home but can’t think of an answer. His wife sees his face and says “What’s the matter Gary?” so he tells her about the question but she’s stuck as well. Then she has an idea. “Who did you say he got this from?” so Chuckle tells her the story. “That Wenger – he’s French isn’t he?” says Mrs N. “Yes but what’s that got to do with it?” says Gary. “I was just thinking that Eric Cantona is French and is clever so might know about things like that.” “Great idea,” says Chuckle “I’ll ring Eric.”
So he rings Eric, tells him the story and the question. Cantona says “Ah but zat is easy. C’est moi. It’s me.” Chuckle thanks him and goes to bed happy. The next day he’s in Carrington early and is right into Baconface’s office. “Got the answer Gary?” “Yes boss – it’s Eric Cantona!”
Baconface then gives him the hairdryer “F*** off! Youse is all f****** idiots. The f****** answer’s Cesc Fabregas!”
The best one I know is this one:
Baconface is talking to Arsene Wenger after a game “I really admire how your players are not just physically fit but mentally sharp as well. Some of mine are a bit dense and I’m sure they’d be a lot better if they were a bit brighter.”
Wenger said “That is easy. Not only do I do physical training for my players but I do mental training as well.”
“What do you mean” asks Baconface. “I’ll show you” said Wenger and calls Fabregas over. “Cesc, this person is the son of your father but is not your brother. Who is it?” Fabregas thinks for a moment and says “It’s me!” Wenger turns to Baconface and say “See – that’s how I do it.”
Fergie thinks about this and when he’s back at Carrington, he calls Gary Neville in after training. “Gary – I need you to be mentally sharper so I’m going to ask you a question.” Gary looks a bit puzzled but says “OK boss. Whatever you say.” So Baconface asks him the same question that Wenger asked. “That’s a tough one boss,” says Chuckle, can I have a while to think about it?”
“Well you really need to answer quickly but as it’s your first one I’ll give you till tomorrow morning to think about it.” Chuckle thinks about it all the way home but can’t think of an answer. His wife sees his face and says “What’s the matter Gary?” so he tells her about the question but she’s stuck as well. Then she has an idea. “Who did you say he got this from?” so Chuckle tells her the story. “That Wenger – he’s French isn’t he?” says Mrs N. “Yes but what’s that got to do with it?” says Gary. “I was just thinking that Eric Cantona is French and is clever so might know about things like that.” “Great idea,” says Chuckle “I’ll ring Eric.”
So he rings Eric, tells him the story and the question. Cantona says “Ah but zat is easy. C’est moi. It’s me.” Chuckle thanks him and goes to bed happy. The next day he’s in Carrington early and is right into Baconface’s office. “Got the answer Gary?” “Yes boss – it’s Eric Cantona!”
Baconface then gives him the hairdryer “F*** off! Youse is all f****** idiots. The f****** answer’s Cesc Fabregas!”
Kula Sheikher
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There was chaos at the rags Christmas party the other week, when the barman rang for last orders, the entire team surrounded him demanding another three minutes...
...the coat is already on
...the coat is already on
bluereddish
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True Story
A kid comes home from school one day and sees his Man U shirt lying on the grass. He shouts "Mam, why's my United shirt on the ground?"
to which she replied "Oh, fcukin' ell, those thievin' bastards have robbed my clothes pegs again!!"
A kid comes home from school one day and sees his Man U shirt lying on the grass. He shouts "Mam, why's my United shirt on the ground?"
to which she replied "Oh, fcukin' ell, those thievin' bastards have robbed my clothes pegs again!!"