Just Sharted!!!!

[Donkey Boy]

I was at the cash point about an our ago and I felt a little rumble in the lower colon. I checked behind me and as no-one was there I let out what I thought would be a quiet little fart.

Unfortunately shortly after said fart my boxers felt a little wet and the smell was pretty horrific. Just then an old lady stands behind me at the cash point with a terrible look on her face.

I realised I had sharted and had to make a swift exit.

Now the good news is I managed to get in the car and get home without too many people getting down wind of the smell - it was eye watering.

The bad news is that my turqouise matalan undercrackers are completely destroyed.

So to make me feel better I thought I would ask fellow bluemooners if they have ever experienced similar Sharting incidents??

Additionally for those not aware, they dictionary definition of a Shart is as follows..

SHARTED
when a man or woman thinks they are gonna release a quiet fluffy little toot and BAM! a loud wet sound followed by a big juicy pile of shit in your favorite underware. FUCK! you just shit your pants!!

 

[oakiecokie]

CTID1988 Post subject: How to stop a girl ever speaking to you again...Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 12:46 pm



Joined: Tue Sep 15, 2009 4:43 pm
Posts: 1128 I wotn go into massive details, but this girl ive been seeing has turned into a right horrible, nasty cow. I need an idea of how to get rid of her, so she will never speak to me again. What can i say that is so nasty and horrible that she will hate me forever!? Ive tried telling her i want nothing to do with her, ive tried every other route but it isnt working. Any ideas?!

Well I think theres an answer for one of you ??

 

[pablozabaleta]

CTID1988 Post subject: How to stop a girl ever speaking to you again...Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 12:46 pm



Joined: Tue Sep 15, 2009 4:43 pm
Posts: 1128 I wotn go into massive details, but this girl ive been seeing has turned into a right horrible, nasty cow. I need an idea of how to get rid of her, so she will never speak to me again. What can i say that is so nasty and horrible that she will hate me forever!? Ive tried telling her i want nothing to do with her, ive tried every other route but it isnt working. Any ideas?!

Well I think theres an answer for one of you ??

Hahaha!! ;)

 

[Manchestercitychorlton]

When I was younger I had a morning paper round.
I got up feeling and walked to the shop to get the papers, but on my way I sharted...
I didn't have time to go back and change as I had to go to school straight after delivering the papers.
I spent a horrific half an hour waddleing about delivering papers, all the while with shot stained boxers and a horrible smell.
I got home and found my arse and boxers in a right state

 

[Tuearts right boot]

I was at the cash point about an our ago and I felt a little rumble in the lower colon. I checked behind me and as no-one was there I let out what I thought would be a quiet little fart.

Unfortunately shortly after said fart my boxers felt a little wet and the smell was pretty horrific. Just then an old lady stands behind me at the cash point with a terrible look on her face.

I realised I had sharted and had to make a swift exit.

Now the good news is I managed to get in the car and get home without too many people getting down wind of the smell - it was eye watering.

The bad news is that my turqouise matalan undercrackers are completely destroyed.

So to make me feel better I thought I would ask fellow bluemooners if they have ever experienced similar Sharting incidents??

Additionally for those not aware, they dictionary definition of a Shart is as follows..

SHARTED
when a man or woman thinks they are gonna release a quiet fluffy little toot and BAM! a loud wet sound followed by a big juicy pile of shit in your favorite underware. FUCK! you just shit your pants!!

I feel your pain....2 days ago after 20 minutes earlier just left some friends house near Limogue in France,with a 12 hour drive back to Northern Spain.
Went in services to fill up and walked to the check out and squeezed a little one out.NOT.Undies and chinoes ruined.Walked back to the car like John Wayne and pondered for a while.Fortunately had an old pair in my bag so took them out and sheepishly walked back still like John Wayne through a crowd of sneering Frenchies into the bogs and changed.Not good.

 

[itsnevereasy]

I did it one morning just after waking up with a girl next to me - and she noticed!

8 years & 2 kids later she still takes the piss out of me for it!

 

[Tricky Dickys Right Foot Shot]

Last year in Ayia Napa it was the last day and we were getting kicked out of our room in about 2 hours, so just getting up my mate decides to let rip on his bed all of a sudden jumps up an runs to the bog I look at his bed sheets and a big brown watery stain is lying there.

I told him just scruntch ya sheets up and dash em in the corner and let the cleaning lady deal with it.

This is why you shouldn't drink the water on abroad.

 

[gaudinho's stolen car]

I was in the sea up to my chest on holiday, when the dreaded pang of pain came on, like a knife in my belly. I thought "Buzzing, I can deal with this here and now, God is smiling on me for a change".
I let nature take its course and emptied my guts. However, the dump was pure liquid, so as I walked out of the sea I had a yellowy brown tide mark across my chest and the top of my arms where the slurry had floated up. She looked at me like I'd got my cock out in front of her mam. Again.

 

[stony]

I've been pretty fortunate in that every time I've shit myself I've been at home. Once it happens a couple of times it takes all the enjoyment out of farting. No longer can you take pride in a big manly fart rumbling it's way out of your pants but you have to do stealth farts. Just let it tip toe through and pop it's head out a little to make sure it definitely is a fart and not something more meaty.
If there are bones in it you can then get to the toilet before releasing the krakon.
The downside is that if it does turn out to be just a fart it tends to just seep it's way out with a pathetic little wheeze, sounding like the gayest fart in the world. The sort of fart you're likely to encounter on Canal street instead of the deep bass rumbling satisfaction of a real man fart.

 

[jimharri]

That horrible feeling when you can sense it brewing inside you (with no lav anywhere within range) and you can't hold back any longer. And it doesn't half attract the flies this time of year; pity it doesn't do the same with the ladies!