Knowsley safari park

[Sunny Coast Blue]

some scouser nicked me wheels and then the monkey wanked off in front of my missus who hates scousers and monkeys anyhow so it didn't go down well tbf although she won £20 on the bingo later so she was well happy and noshed me off which was nice

The new foreplay routine working well for ya then aye, hopefully the Monkey's arse was redder than yours.

 

[G-Star Medium Rare]

There was a lot of concern when they built that place. Locals were asking what would happen if a lion escaped and made its way into Liverpool. A park spokesman said it would have to try to defend itself the best it could.

Funniest post of the night!
Wine, all over my keyboard.

 

[scotty123]

Been 3 times. First time my clutch went with 3 19 year old girls in the car, second time I ran out of petrol, third time I saw Gerry mcann.

Gerry McCann you say, was he carrying a shovel?

 

[DelToro]

Been 3 times. First time my clutch went with 3 19 year old girls in the car, second time I ran out of petrol, third time I saw Gerry mcann.

Ah yes, the old "Here I am in the middle of nowhere with 3 19 year old girls in my car.....oh no my clutch has gone, looks like we're in it for the long haul" routine.

 

[Bill Walker]

Been 3 times. First time my clutch went with 3 19 year old girls in the car, second time I ran out of petrol, third time I saw Gerry mcann.

Ah yes, the old "Here I am in the middle of nowhere with 3 19 year old girls in my car.....oh no my clutch has gone, looks like we're in it for the long haul" routine.

your familiar with this scenario chabal ?

 

[nijinsky's fetlocks]

my mates brother took the family there,a monkey jumped on the bonnet of his car and nicked a windscreen wiper then started to masterbate leaving monkey spunkey on his windscreen! the lad had to wipe it off with a tissue,anyone else got any Safari park tales or just tales of wanking monkeys will do

Is he sure it was a monkey, could be AntiUnited by the sounds of it.

That's a bit harsh mate.
Monkeys are highly intelligent primates.
Many of their 260 species mate for life with a real partner, as opposed to their right hand.

 

[The Pink Panther]

my mates brother took the family there,a monkey jumped on the bonnet of his car and nicked a windscreen wiper then started to masterbate leaving monkey spunkey on his windscreen! the lad had to wipe it off with a tissue,anyone else got any Safari park tales or just tales of wanking monkeys will do

Sounds more like a summer's day in Rhyl