5 Hit Gibbon
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 8 Jan 2020
- Messages
- 7,458
Never mind the ending, was there tits?
That's what Barry Norman used to always say!
Never mind the ending, was there tits?
That's what Barry Norman used to always say!
Don’t Look Up
Best Netflix movie i have ever seen. 7/10.
Tenet - esnesnon fo daol a tahw
Interesting idea, some slick sequences, but way too difficult to follow. I mean, Red Dwarf did the backwards thing better and with humour on a much smaller budget 30 years ago. I can imagine the conversation the filmakers must have had.
Studio Exec: We want to make a film that's going to confuse the hell out of people.
Writer: I can help - I can write you a script that is full of gobbledygook that nobody will have a prayer of understanding.
Editor: Yeah, and I can cut the motherf**cker like Edward Scissorhands so they won't even have time to think what's happened before we move onto the next scene.
Studio Exec: Wow, that sounds great, but some of the audience are clever, won't they figure it out?
Director: No chance, the actors will get specific instructions to mumble their lines.
Studio Exec (looks at casting sheet) : But you've signed up Kenneth Branagh, one of the finest actors of his generation - the audience will definitely follow what he's saying.
Writer: Don't worry, he'll have one of those dodgy Russian accents like the Meerkat ....
Director: .... And I'll tell him to mumble as well.
Editor: You know that scene with the Indian woman on the boat? We'll have the protagnonist fly out to Mumbai, say, like, three words to her and before jetting off back to Europe.
Studio Exec: I'm sure glad to have you onboard, Mr Editor. With cutting like that and short, mumbled scenes, we'll bring the thing in at under 90 minutes!
Director: I'm looking at more like 2 and a half hours actually.
Studio Exec: How are you going to fill that running time?
Director: Lots of shots of the characters running backwards that make no sense. Plus, we'll have them visit a cargo facility at Oslo airport and film the same scene of them running down corridors twice only with some of them doing it backwards on both occasions. The beauty of this scene is that there was no credible reason to go to the airport in the first place either of the times they did it!
Studio Exec: That does sound confusing. Anything else?
Writer: Yep. The main character lives in a Windmill?
Studio Exec: What? Like Windy Miller?
Writer: No, it's out at sea.
Director: That makes no sense!
Studio Exec: That sounds perfect! When do we start.
Director: Well, actually, we made it all last year, but we've got to run through it all backwards now.