Limericks about Footballers

[SkyBlueTX]

We won't get a penalty shout,
No matter the ref there's no doubt.
He'll just wave his arms
And say there's no harms
While bodies are strewn all about.

 

[SkyBlueTX]

The sighting of Pep in the fall,
Will give great relief to us all.
But some will discern
That I've got a concern
In that Pep won't be kicking the ball.

 

[Cellarite]

A sheet metal worker's son from the Tyne,
ended up as the Toon's number 9,
The bare chest, Geordie hordes,
Could sense trophies galore,
But at Blackburn we'd witnessed his prime.

 

[Cellarite]

There was a young player from Leeds,
Whose trophy hunger bordered on greed,
When the Villa and Toon,
Let him go far too soon,
It took City to fulfil his needs.

Then he lied and left for the 'Pool,
We offered a renew but he tried to play cool,
Said he wanted more starts,
And a more central part,
Lost at Wembley at right back - what a fool!

 

[mickeyblueeyes]

We have a striker named Bony
Who turns out to be a phoney
Can't head pass or shoot
Not fit to lace our Kuns boot
But plays when kelechi's on the bench all lonely

 

[Mad Eyed Screamer]

This is a manager called LVG
Who plays to his unique philosophy
The fans call it boring
And end up just yawning
Giving a heart attack to GPC

 

[SkyBlueTX]

A fellow named Martin looked poor,
While allowing them chances galore.
And all of us seethed
'Cause Pellers believed
That thirty five was twenty four.

 

[SkyBlueTX]

I love Jesus Navases' pace,
And the way that he dribbles with grace.
But if he should shoot
Hold on to your boot
It might hit you square in the lace.

 

[SkyBlueTX]

Angel used to play for Madrid,
Who decided one day to get rid.
So he went to the Shite
Where nothing went right
Till the day he got out when he did.

 

[Big J]

There was once a fat scouse kid called Wayne
Who's baldness was causing him pain
So he shagged an old granny
Shaved the pubes from her fanny
Now he dons a short curly grey mane