PREMIER League referee Mark Halsey and his wife Michelle will breathe a huge sigh of relief when midnight finally strikes on December 31 and they can wave goodbye to 2009.
“It’s been a nightmarish year,” admits Mark, rubbing his hand over a head made bald by the chemotherapy treatments needed for a particularly aggressive throat cancer.
But, in fact, it was his wife who had bad tidings on New Year’s Eve last year. In a shock diagnosis, her tiredness, bruised limbs and weight-loss were eventually identified as chronic myeloid leukaemia to kickstart the Halseys’ “annus horribulis”.
Just days after his wife’s traumatic health diagnosis, Mark was refereeing a third round FA Cup match, receiving the sort of abuse that fans regularly hurl at the ref but thinking “If only you knew what Michelle’s going through.”
He was well used to comments from the crowd. Born in Hertfordshire, Mark was appointed to the Football League list of referees in the mid-1990s and promoted to the Premier League list in 1999.
Now 48, he has officiated three times at Wembley, took charge of the 1998/99 League One play-off final between Manchester City and Gillingham, and refereed the 2008 Carling Cup Final between Chelsea and Tottenham Hotspur.
He and Michelle, an accomplished amateur sportswoman, certainly looked like they had it all.
After two rounds of IVF treatment, Michelle had given birth to Lucy Mia, now three. They had a comfortable home in Little Lever in Bolton, a holiday home in Spain, and the Italian restaurant, Sotto Vento, they owned and ran in nearby Farnworth was doing well.
“Then it all seemed to happen at once,” Michelle offers a rueful smile. She began treatment at the Royal Bolton Hospital, and must now take tablets for life but also has to monitor a cell count still not what the medics want.
When she was first ill, Mark took over her work at the restaurant in between his high-profile refereeing work. Little did they know that the roles were soon to be reversed.
Mark had been suffering for some months with sore throats. “I’d had seven lots of antibiotics but it still felt painful and not right,” he states.
He finally went for a scan at private Beaumont Hospital in Bolton which revealed a tumour on his tonsil. Two days later, he was due to referee at Goodison Park on the opening day of the Barclays Premier League season and, being a thorough professional and having worked hard on his fitness to reach that point, he decided to go ahead with it.
He confided only in the other match officials, and to their – and his – amazement got through the match faultlessly.
He had surgery to have the tumour removed, but it grew back within a week. Six rounds of chemotherapy followed and even its mention gets him shaking his head. “It was really awful, the worst thing,” he insists. “Even now, I just feel sick when I hear the word.”
Michelle, responding to her treatment but still far from well, took over Mark’s shifts at the restaurant, and the couple got on with their lives as stoically as they could.
“We were open with Lucy from the start, and she tells everyone she meets, at playgroup or wherever she is, that Mummy has cancer of the blood and Daddy has cancer of the throat,” says Michelle.
“She’s a lovely little girl, so loving, but sometimes she gets upset. She said to me the other day ‘you won’t die, will you Mummy?’ and she cried her eyes out when she couldn’t hug her Daddy because he was just starting his radiotherapy.”
Family, friends and staff at the restaurant have been “amazing”, states Mark, but they have also had fantastic support from football managers and players from clubs all over the country who have kept in regular touch with messages of support.
The couple have also been amazed by the letters and cards from ordinary members of the public that have arrived both at their home – sometimes addressed to simply “Mark Halsey, Referee, Bolton” or “Mark Halsey, The Christie Hospital”.
And they have been very touched by the cash gifts, ranging from £3 from a Portsmouth pensioner to a 14 year-old Chelsea fan’s pocket money, which have come in to help their fundraising campaign for The Christie.
“We decided to try to raise £50,000,” explains Mark, “because it’s a fantastic place and you just don’t realise it until you go there.”
They’re currently organising a dinner in April and have received a mass of sporting memorabilia to auction off from celebrity supporters like cricketers Michael Vaughan and Andrew Flintoff and boxer Amir Khan.
They had a quiet, family Christmas, not least because Mark’s three weeks of radiotherapy treatment had just come to an end. But the family have already had their best present – Mark has been told his cancer is in remission. As for 2010, their goals are to continue to fundraise and get some sunshine, and Mark’s dream is to referee a cup final.
“I’m going to get back refereeing as soon as I can,” he says, smiling at the thought. “I’m doing my best to get fit – and I can’t wait to get out there again. Even getting the usual abuse!”
» To donate to the Halseys’ fund for The Christie go to Justgiving.com/mark-halsey
