My Dad

  • Thread starter Thread starter Ric
  • Start date Start date
When my Dad died almost ten years ago. The biggest help i got with regard to dealing with it mentally was Bluemoon and the members. it gave me a chance to get my feelings out in a way i couldn't in 'real' life and i got a lot of support.
So i'd like to thank @Ric for giving me, and no doubt several others, this place to help us through hard times and i hope it can help you as well mate.
BlueMoonRisin’ said:
Dementia is a horrible illness to witness I was actually glad and relieved when my dad died and I think Ric is too, even though it's very sad to see a loved one(especially a parent regress to an infantile state before they eventually pass away.

Fortunately for me(unlike Ric) my dad only had dementia about 12-15 months but he suffered 3 or 4 strokes within a few months and after each stroke he got worse. I worked away at the time so I'd go round to his care home on Friday evening if I could and I'd talk to him. Sometimes he'd reply and sometimes he was away with the fairies, so to speak.

It was heartbreaking for me to see(I'm getting emotional typing this) my dad regress to such a sorry state, helpless and incontinent sat in a chair waiting to die. Made it worse for me because his carers didn't care, they were more interested in talking about Corrie and Eastenders whilst smoking by the fire escape door whilst poor souls were sat there asking for food and drinks or wanting to go to the toilet. One day I went to see dad and he had porridge dried onto a scruffy top he was wearing. I complained to a carer and she started blurting out some shit excuse they were understaffed. I told he to be very careful what she said because I had seen the old folks suffering whilst they ignored them. Dad hadn't had his pad changed for a while because the stench was overpowering. I told the carer to clean him up and dress him in the decent clothes I'd bought him. 10 minutes later he came out of his bedroom looking much better.

The last time I saw him alive was on a Sunday. I was talking to him in his bedroom and his eyes were darting all over the place, it's as though he was tripping, perhaps he was. Before I left I looked at him saying "you know I love you dad". He looked into my eyes briefly and smiled. That was a wonderful moment and it all kind of made sense. Tuesday morning I got a phone call at 6:30 saying he'd passed away. I felt at peace that he was in peace and no longer suffering.
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I know that look, and that feeling.
 
Condolences Ric. Sounds like your dad had great taste in music and football! Today’s the date my dad passed- 26 years ago - still miss him but he is still there in my dreams occassionally and always in my thoughts.
 
JOGAMIGMOG said:
Condolences Ric. Sounds like your dad had great taste in music and football! Today’s the date my dad passed- 26 years ago - still miss him but he is still there in my dreams occassionally and always in my thoughts.
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It is amazing how many times my mum and dad appear in my dreams. Then I wake up and realise the loss again ( been 14 and just 10 years respectively). Especially seem to dream of them when faced with crises/ dilemma. Helps me focus. My hub dreams about them too, far more than own parents, who were nice folk, gave him a very good childhood, but weren't on same level as mine.

Helping to talk on a 'public' yet private supportive forum is a massive benefit to get you through. Thinking of you x
 
When i saw the thread title i thought it was about one of our opponents in the world club cup.
Sorry for your loss. Your dad seemed a decent man R.I.P.
 
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Music, football and a strong loving family. Seems like you've had all of them in spades, my condolences at this tough time.
 
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So sorry to hear your sad news Ric. May your Dad now rest in peace. My thoughts are with you and all your family
 
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Sorry Ric, hope you’re ok.

My own dad passed away just before Christmas so know how you feel.

In fact I’ve got to pick his ashes up Friday (Tomorrow) afternoon which I’m not looking forward to.

Take care
 
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So sorry to hear this Ric and wishing all the very best to you and your family. I lost my dad a few years ago so I know what you are going through
 
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