Pigeonho said:
Very much this. Also, go to any pet shop specialising in reptiles and buy a tub of Crickets. Post them into his letter box and watch him fall into a deep depression over the coming weeks. I used to keep Water Dragons and once spilt a tub of crickets, they fucked off into the nucks and crannies of the house and could never be caught. At night they would make their noises and one would set the other off, resulting in no sleep at all and me going mad trying to find them. In the end I had to squirt ant killer down the nooks and crannies of the house, raise floor boards etc and without no word of a lie, it took 4 months for the noises to stop! I have always said that if anyone gets on the wrong side of me, either rumours of them being a paedo or crickets down the letter box will be my revenge.
Top drawer Pidge.
I've learnt something here. I won't forget that.
As a keen angler I can report that a couple of pints of maggots will do a pretty good job too. Like the crickets, they instantly vancish under the carpet and down the floorboards. All's quiet, it lulls you into a false sense of security for a couple of days.
Then the flies start to hatch. Big, ugly, dozy black fuck off flies. For weeks and weeks.
I'm afraid I've been there. In my car more than once too.
I once took a girl on a first date in my nice new Calibra and we had to keep the windows down to let the bluebottles escape.
