New Times article

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Ric

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Bit rushed but they wanted something asap, and I'm Murdoch's bitch. Things seem to be changing minute by minute with Kaka, but I don't think the deal is definietly off yet.

Transfer gossip junkies

Following on from ADUG's dramatic takeover of the club last summer, we'd spent four long, tortuous months waiting for the re-opening of the transfer window, whilst City slumped ever more pitifully towards the bottom of the heap once more. Sure, there had been highlights; the inspired form of Stephen Ireland, Robinho's mercurial skills, and the cavalier, swashbuckling attacking that saw us score more goals than any other team in the Premiership, Chelsea aside. However, some calamitous defending (even by City's own woefully low standards) and rumours of dissent in the dressing room destabilised the club and suddenly, absurdly, a relegation dogfight became a very real possibility. United fans guffawed loudly in Surrey and Singapore that "City's going down with a billion in a bank" (I hate to be pedantic, but it's actually £15bn). Ho ho.

Our misery was compounded by an abject 3-0 capitulation at the hands of Nottingham Forest in the F.A. Cup, and disgruntled fans turned their ire on manager Mark Hughes. Our only salvation lay in the opening of the transfer window, and the chance to finally flex our financial muscle (for all the media hype about our new found wealth, we'd only actually had around 12 hours in which to utilise it due to the belated takeover in August).

Intenet forums were rife with rumour and speculation, and we were subjected to a whole new language seemingly based purely on acronyms: ITKs ("in the knows"), WUMs ("wind up merchants") etc and so on. "My mate's dad knows the security guard at Carrington and he's just seen Lionel Messi enjoying a chip barm in the canteen..."; there was a constant jetstream of bullshit being spouted. Those whose rumours were vindicated were treated like cyber demi-gods by the sycophantic masses, whilst those whose stories failed to materialise were dismissed as subhuman scum, somewhere between child molesters and people traffickers on the scale of humanity. Previously sane men were acting increasing irrationally, like transfer gossip junkies in desperate need of a fix.

Normally Christmas represents the highlight of my year, providing a welcome opportunity to get drunk with friends and family whilst enjoying a game seemingly every other day (and, um, celebrating the birth of our lord Jesus Christ) but this year it was an unwelcome distraction, a nuisance. I couldn't wait for it to be out of the way; January would be my Christmas, as City presented me with a stocking full of world class footballers. As Auld Lang Syne rang out at midnight on New Year's Eve, I quietly sloped away from my friends to check Newsnow. I was a little crest fallen to discover that no deals had been completed within the first thirty seconds of the window, but consoled myself that patience was the only virtue.

In the coming days, I maintained a 24 hour vigil in front of my laptop, frantically hitting the F5 refresh key, praying for something to happen. Seconds felt like minutes, and minutes felt like hours. It was as though there was a hole in the space-time continuum, in Manchester at least. I couldn't carry on like this. Delirium was kicking in. Then, unexpectedly, the red ticker tape emerged at the bottom of the screen on Sky Sports News. "BREAKING NEWS...". I sat bolt upright. "MANCHESTER CITY MAKE BID FOR...", it teased and tantalised. "...WEST HAM'S CRAIG BELLAMY". I felt utterly deflated. I swear you could hear an audible groan round our way. We'd been promised world class stars like David Villa and Samuel Eto'o, but were in for a journeyman with a disciplinary record that Joey Barton would be proud of. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride...

Whilst Bellamy is unquestionably a reasonable player who would improve our squad (although with the likes of Vassell and Benjani on our books you could argue that even David Bellamy would enhance our options), I cannot abide the man. He has a face I'd never tire of punching. It's easy to get blase as a City fan and react with indifference to the likes of Bellamy, and other experienced Premiership professionals such as Given, Parker and Santa Cruz, but with the wealth at our disposal we had secretly hoped for more.

So it was with great delight that the blue three quarters of Manchester awoke this morning to discover that City were in discussions with Kaka over a proposed £90m move. No, really. Kaka. Might. Be. Coming. To. Manchester. City. Read that back, and tell me the world hasn't gone utterly insane. I keep thinking this is some sick Trumann Show style hoax, that the whole world is in on except me. Admittedly it'd be for an obscene amount of money, and I suspect a childhood love of the club isn't a factor ("I used to love watching Tony Grealish as a young boy in Brazil", he probably won't say). At a time of severe financial hardship for most, the figures being quoted will most likely cause revulsion and resentment (and dare I say a touch of jealousy) amongst other supporters but we've been utterly rubbish for the last three decades so please allow us this moment, should the deal go through. Kaka and Robinho lining up alongside Darius Vassell and Gelson Fernandes, there'd be a glorious juxtaposition about the whole thing.

Ric Turner
<a class="postlink" href="http://www.bluemoon-mcfc.co.uk" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.bluemoon-mcfc.co.uk</a>
Click to expand...
 
well i like it, but being blue i would, you re right,we all seem stuck to our pc waiting for something to happen
 
Ric said:
Bit rushed but they wanted something asap, and I'm Murdoch's bitch. Things seem to be changing minute by minute with Kaka, but I don't think the deal is definietly off yet.

Transfer gossip junkies

Following on from ADUG's dramatic takeover of the club last summer, we'd spent four long, tortuous months waiting for the re-opening of the transfer window, whilst City slumped ever more pitifully towards the bottom of the heap once more. Sure, there had been highlights; the inspired form of Stephen Ireland, Robinho's mercurial skills, and the cavalier, swashbuckling attacking that saw us score more goals than any other team in the Premiership, Chelsea aside. However, some calamitous defending (even by City's own woefully low standards) and rumours of dissent in the dressing room destabilised the club and suddenly, absurdly, a relegation dogfight became a very real possibility. United fans guffawed loudly in Surrey and Singapore that "City's going down with a billion in a bank" (I hate to be pedantic, but it's actually £15bn). Ho ho.

Our misery was compounded by an abject 3-0 capitulation at the hands of Nottingham Forest in the F.A. Cup, and disgruntled fans turned their ire on manager Mark Hughes. Our only salvation lay in the opening of the transfer window, and the chance to finally flex our financial muscle (for all the media hype about our new found wealth, we'd only actually had around 12 hours in which to utilise it due to the belated takeover in August).

Intenet forums were rife with rumour and speculation, and we were subjected to a whole new language seemingly based purely on acronyms: ITKs ("in the knows"), WUMs ("wind up merchants") etc and so on. "My mate's dad knows the security guard at Carrington and he's just seen Lionel Messi enjoying a chip barm in the canteen..."; there was a constant jetstream of bullshit being spouted. Those whose rumours were vindicated were treated like cyber demi-gods by the sycophantic masses, whilst those whose stories failed to materialise were dismissed as subhuman scum, somewhere between child molesters and people traffickers on the scale of humanity. Previously sane men were acting increasing irrationally, like transfer gossip junkies in desperate need of a fix.

Normally Christmas represents the highlight of my year, providing a welcome opportunity to get drunk with friends and family whilst enjoying a game seemingly every other day (and, um, celebrating the birth of our lord Jesus Christ) but this year it was an unwelcome distraction, a nuisance. I couldn't wait for it to be out of the way; January would be my Christmas, as City presented me with a stocking full of world class footballers. As Auld Lang Syne rang out at midnight on New Year's Eve, I quietly sloped away from my friends to check Newsnow. I was a little crest fallen to discover that no deals had been completed within the first thirty seconds of the window, but consoled myself that patience was the only virtue.

In the coming days, I maintained a 24 hour vigil in front of my laptop, frantically hitting the F5 refresh key, praying for something to happen. Seconds felt like minutes, and minutes felt like hours. It was as though there was a hole in the space-time continuum, in Manchester at least. I couldn't carry on like this. Delirium was kicking in. Then, unexpectedly, the red ticker tape emerged at the bottom of the screen on Sky Sports News. "BREAKING NEWS...". I sat bolt upright. "MANCHESTER CITY MAKE BID FOR...", it teased and tantalised. "...WEST HAM'S CRAIG BELLAMY". I felt utterly deflated. I swear you could hear an audible groan round our way. We'd been promised world class stars like David Villa and Samuel Eto'o, but were in for a journeyman with a disciplinary record that Joey Barton would be proud of. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride...

Whilst Bellamy is unquestionably a reasonable player who would improve our squad (although with the likes of Vassell and Benjani on our books you could argue that even David Bellamy would enhance our options), I cannot abide the man. He has a face I'd never tire of punching. It's easy to get blase as a City fan and react with indifference to the likes of Bellamy, and other experienced Premiership professionals such as Given, Parker and Santa Cruz, but with the wealth at our disposal we had secretly hoped for more.

So it was with great delight that the blue three quarters of Manchester awoke this morning to discover that City were in discussions with Kaka over a proposed £90m move. No, really. Kaka. Might. Be. Coming. To. Manchester. City. Read that back, and tell me the world hasn't gone utterly insane. I keep thinking this is some sick Trumann Show style hoax, that the whole world is in on except me. Admittedly it'd be for an obscene amount of money, and I suspect a childhood love of the club isn't a factor ("I used to love watching Tony Grealish as a young boy in Brazil", he probably won't say). At a time of severe financial hardship for most, the figures being quoted will most likely cause revulsion and resentment (and dare I say a touch of jealousy) amongst other supporters but we've been utterly rubbish for the last three decades so please allow us this moment, should the deal go through. Kaka and Robinho lining up alongside Darius Vassell and Gelson Fernandes, there'd be a glorious juxtaposition about the whole thing.

Ric Turner
<a class="postlink" href="http://www.bluemoon-mcfc.co.uk" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.bluemoon-mcfc.co.uk</a>
Click to expand...
Click to expand...


Like the slopping off at Christmas time to check the PC.... I had my blackberry with me at my Dad's house and was constantly on it checking on CHRISTMAS DAY!!! WTF.... Blame it on Ajay
 
Good article Ric. Well written and entertaining. I'd be surprised if any City fan didn't sneak away from Christmas celebrations just in case something had happened. I am starting to feel less positive about Kaka since he came out and played down the link. One can still hope though!
 
I too have my iphone on the sky sports website refreshing every few minutes. However after Kaka has played the move down i feel our chance of actually signing the player is now very very slim :( We can but hope!!!
 
You'll be glad to know i've just found this article on newsnow before finding this post, you media whore you! Nice article, but the ticker is yellow on SSN (another acronym!) when something exciting is happening, not that I watch it all the time or anything sad like that...
 
Very good stuff again, however by laughing while reading it at work I am in danger of giving myself away!
 
Brilliant Ric, I think you have put the feelings of all City fans into words in this article
 
Top notch again, Ric. Just one thing:

Intenet forums were rife with rumour and speculation, and we were subjected to a whole new language seemingly based purely on acronyms: ITKs ("in the knows"), WUMs ("wind up merchants") etc and so on. "My mate's dad knows the security guard at Carrington and he's just seen Lionel Messi enjoying a chip barm in the canteen..."
Click to expand...

It's a muffin.
 
Joycee Banercheck said:
Top notch again, Ric. Just one thing:

Intenet forums were rife with rumour and speculation, and we were subjected to a whole new language seemingly based purely on acronyms: ITKs ("in the knows"), WUMs ("wind up merchants") etc and so on. "My mate's dad knows the security guard at Carrington and he's just seen Lionel Messi enjoying a chip barm in the canteen..."
Click to expand...

It's a muffin.
Click to expand...
Why would Messi eat a muffin barm?
 
United fans guffawed loudly in Surrey and Singapore that "City's going down with a billion in a bank" (I hate to be pedantic, but it's actually £15bn). Ho ho.
Click to expand...

I suspect a childhood love of the club isn't a factor ("I used to love watching Tony Grealish as a young boy in Brazil", he probably won't say).
Click to expand...

Good Ric. (these two bits... the rest was shit)
 
Good article Ric, no honest, I am not just licking up to you because you are the administrator (well ok just a little: can I get my Level 1 warning lifted now after all I wuz innocent).

Did I miss, or did you leave out, the bit were we all imploded on ourselves on this fansite and many feared to believe the wiseman scribe from the middle east who dared preach the good news of the new beginning and a prophet even greater than Robinho who was on his way. Today we all want to believe and pray in unity for it to happen, God Bless Sheikh Mansour.
 
You missed the r out of internet.

:-) But seriously;-
Always an interesting read..... and sometimes even laugh out loud funny especially the David Bellamy bit.
 
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