Official 6-1 joke thread

[JoeMercer'sWay]

Gary Glitter was arrested by Spanish authorities this morning of charges of Child Abuse.

Apparently after succesfully infiltrating a primary school as a classroom assistant in English lessons he misinterpreted the teacher's delightful cries as "yes! yes! sex Juan!".

 

[ianmcco]

My son had to do a story for school, all about his weekend. He's only young, so I offered to help him and we came up with the following;

On Sunday there was a football match that was watched by everyone in Manchester.

The viewers included a mother Anderson and his Nani. Old, Young and even people in De Gea village were tuned in.

For 20 minutes Manchester City were pinned Wellbeck, but then the Evans opened and the Rio show began.

After that, Evra time City got forward they scored, which couldn't be said for United as they appeared to be shooting with arrows from a very poor Fletcher.

As the final whistle was blown to confirm United Smalling, everyone was wondering if it was the start of the massive clubs Rooney?

Guide for the thick
Anderson = and her son
Nani = Nanny
Young = young
De Gea = the gay (an area in Manchester)
Wellbeck = well back
Evans = heavens
Rio = real
Evra = every
Fletcher = someone who makes arrows
Smalling = Uniteds mauling
Rooney = ruin, eh

 

[smeghead64]

I dont want to open my eyes....im Dreaming......

 

[kbb]

Found an ailing old bird in the garden yesterday - so took it to the vet.

"Sick Swan" the vet pronounced - it got lots of needle points on it. #

Take this blue stuff and rub it in to the sore red pricks as often as you can!!!

All my own work (well except for the Sick Swan bit!!)

 

[crizack]

 

[Anonymous]

Haven't read the whole thread , have we had the this one yet??

UNITED SUPPORTERS EMERGENCY COUNSELLING HELPLINE

PLEASE RING ..

0161 61 61 61

 

[mammyjam]

after seeing the reaction to the ian huntly joke i doubt i should post this but meh

whats the similarity between united and *insert abuse victim here*? they were both well beaten and raped without a johnny

 

[am333]

Rag fans left 20 min early....so did their players :P

 

[LongLang]

Okay lads....drumroll....


The glaziers wanted the real fans experience and headed for London immediately after the game :-)

London or susSIX

 

[St Helens Blue (Exiled)]

Don't know if this one has been posted so apologies if it has but here goes...

Alex Fergusons alarm clock went off this morning and his wife said "Wake up dear-it's 7"
Ferguson in his response said "Oh for fucks sake-have they scored again?"