Why Always Ste
Well-Known Member
Right, how do I start this....Long Post (sorry, i need advice)
My Father is in his mid 50's, so I'm looking for comments/advice from men who will be similarly aged to my own Father.
Or lads who have had similar experience of this with their own Dads.
He broke up with my Mother when I was 5 (1990) (he cheated on her with her sister)
I went living with him when I was 7 for 5yrs.
During this 5yrs he married a woman who has two of her own kids (they were 5/7 yrs older than me)
I had good times living with him but throughout the many good days there were bad days that had a significant impact on me, such as child abuse from my step-mothers kids.
I chose to move back to my Mothers in my early teens.
My father literally threw me out of the house at 13, smacked my ass and in his own words said:
"As far as I'm concerned, I no longer have a son"
Even though he lived 20min drive away from my Mothers, he rarely ever visited me, expecting me to go to his house on the bus, and at times I went to his he was always working so never had much time for me.
When we did things together it was usually stuff he wanted to do.
At aged 16 (2001) he went living over in Spain.
I went over there a couple of times for a short break.
About 6yrs ago I went over there with my now Ex-gf.
I had confided in her what had happened to me as a kid, so she knew my background.
Anyway I wasn't drinking often at the time, rarely drank as I was always competing in a sport at the time, so when I went over to Spain my Dad just wanted to go out drinking all the time (as he has done since I've always known him)
So I was completely drunk quite easily, and I ended up getting all emotional about my childhood and he outright denied it all ever happened, as did his wife.... I felt embaressed and almost like a liar in front of my Ex-Girlfriend so I reacted stupidly whilst drunk, pushing his wife's head under the water of the jacuzzi he has at his villa.
She over dramatised this all (my Father wasn't even there to see this as he was in the villa) claiming I tried to murder her (accusing me of attempted murder)
And even said I had broke her ribs?
This is what she has told to my Father and her family anyway.
But I swear on my own Mothers life all I did was put my hand on her head as I got out of the jaccuzi, she maybe had her head under the water for a few seconds?
At this time she was blabbing on about how bad of a child I was and outright denying any wrongdoing of her children who used to childmind me.
Anyway fast forward to this summer, it was my Grandfathers funeral and my Dad was there.
I spoke with him and he was ok, but as said since the above incident I've never been invited over there and he rarely ever contacts me.
Only other time I saw him was when I was comatized for two months earlier this year after a collapsed lung.
In fairness to him he rushed straight over from Spain to be at my bedside at Manchester Royal Infirmary.
After I came out of hospital I wanted to get some things off my chest such as the memories I have, so strong as though they were yesterday of my childhood.
Yes, I posted them on "Facebook" and my Father saw this post, outright denied it, and then blocked me from facebook.
It's the way I like to deal with issues - just getting them out in the public - i have no shame.
The comments made by his wife and her daughter just shown what kind of people they are - absolute vermin.
In no way was I being abusive or anything - just stating clear memories of my childhood for people to see.
My current issue is that my Father doesn't seem to want to engage in any way with me.
He has a nice new life with a wife who has a shitload of grandchildren and they all live hapilly ever after in another country.
I'm just a piece of sperm that shot up my Mothers vagina.
I'd like to still know him, but this seems impossible.
Should I just forget he ever existed and move on?
This seems like the best thing... But he never contacts me throughout the years, but then show's up when I'm at deaths door in a fucking coma
So all these emotions/memories I tried to forget about have come flooding back... even more now his Father passed away, who was also a Blue.
If you got to this bit then apologies for the long post, I just have no other impartial males to speak with on this issue, so would like a male perspective.
Cheers
My Father is in his mid 50's, so I'm looking for comments/advice from men who will be similarly aged to my own Father.
Or lads who have had similar experience of this with their own Dads.
He broke up with my Mother when I was 5 (1990) (he cheated on her with her sister)
I went living with him when I was 7 for 5yrs.
During this 5yrs he married a woman who has two of her own kids (they were 5/7 yrs older than me)
I had good times living with him but throughout the many good days there were bad days that had a significant impact on me, such as child abuse from my step-mothers kids.
I chose to move back to my Mothers in my early teens.
My father literally threw me out of the house at 13, smacked my ass and in his own words said:
"As far as I'm concerned, I no longer have a son"
Even though he lived 20min drive away from my Mothers, he rarely ever visited me, expecting me to go to his house on the bus, and at times I went to his he was always working so never had much time for me.
When we did things together it was usually stuff he wanted to do.
At aged 16 (2001) he went living over in Spain.
I went over there a couple of times for a short break.
About 6yrs ago I went over there with my now Ex-gf.
I had confided in her what had happened to me as a kid, so she knew my background.
Anyway I wasn't drinking often at the time, rarely drank as I was always competing in a sport at the time, so when I went over to Spain my Dad just wanted to go out drinking all the time (as he has done since I've always known him)
So I was completely drunk quite easily, and I ended up getting all emotional about my childhood and he outright denied it all ever happened, as did his wife.... I felt embaressed and almost like a liar in front of my Ex-Girlfriend so I reacted stupidly whilst drunk, pushing his wife's head under the water of the jacuzzi he has at his villa.
She over dramatised this all (my Father wasn't even there to see this as he was in the villa) claiming I tried to murder her (accusing me of attempted murder)
And even said I had broke her ribs?
This is what she has told to my Father and her family anyway.
But I swear on my own Mothers life all I did was put my hand on her head as I got out of the jaccuzi, she maybe had her head under the water for a few seconds?
At this time she was blabbing on about how bad of a child I was and outright denying any wrongdoing of her children who used to childmind me.
Anyway fast forward to this summer, it was my Grandfathers funeral and my Dad was there.
I spoke with him and he was ok, but as said since the above incident I've never been invited over there and he rarely ever contacts me.
Only other time I saw him was when I was comatized for two months earlier this year after a collapsed lung.
In fairness to him he rushed straight over from Spain to be at my bedside at Manchester Royal Infirmary.
After I came out of hospital I wanted to get some things off my chest such as the memories I have, so strong as though they were yesterday of my childhood.
Yes, I posted them on "Facebook" and my Father saw this post, outright denied it, and then blocked me from facebook.
It's the way I like to deal with issues - just getting them out in the public - i have no shame.
The comments made by his wife and her daughter just shown what kind of people they are - absolute vermin.
In no way was I being abusive or anything - just stating clear memories of my childhood for people to see.
My current issue is that my Father doesn't seem to want to engage in any way with me.
He has a nice new life with a wife who has a shitload of grandchildren and they all live hapilly ever after in another country.
I'm just a piece of sperm that shot up my Mothers vagina.
I'd like to still know him, but this seems impossible.
Should I just forget he ever existed and move on?
This seems like the best thing... But he never contacts me throughout the years, but then show's up when I'm at deaths door in a fucking coma
So all these emotions/memories I tried to forget about have come flooding back... even more now his Father passed away, who was also a Blue.
If you got to this bit then apologies for the long post, I just have no other impartial males to speak with on this issue, so would like a male perspective.
Cheers