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D
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Deleted member 13905
Guest
Who won?
Have we found out the score yet?
What are the odds on a nil nil?
a draw, 9-9
but i believe he cheated.
Johnny Mars Bar
Well-Known Member
it's my last weekend in england.
my mate is over from belfast.
we are seriously off out on the pull shortly tonight.
(when he gets out of the shower ie having a wank).
we've decided...
1point for a peck.
3points for a snog.
5points for a grope.
when was the last time you went out on the pull?
That’s the gayest thing I’ve read since Sam Smith’s autobiography.
Barcon
Well-Known Member
Turned it off at 3-0How are the Leafs doing lol
Go Canucks
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Deleted member 13905
Guest
on the way we established the rules...
only one drink per establishment then move on.
and a maximum of 8 bars/pubs.
only one attempt at points per establishment allowed.
i.e. if you try and fail then that's it until the next place.
no using the same chat-up line more than once.
no telling the lass about the wager.
and the lass has to be decent-looking.
as for the points system...
1 point for a peck, that's it,
no extra points for another peck from/with the same lass.
if you have a point in the bag but subsequently get a snog then the original point is null and void,
i.e. you just get the 3 points.
and likewise,
if you have either 1 or 3 points in the bag and you subsequently get a grope you only receive the 5 points.
oh, and a grope constitutes either the breasts or the crotch.
bum gropes don't count.
----------------------------------------------------------------
1st place:
straight to the bar waiting to order,
he turned to a woman by his side.
in his thick belfast accent,
"you're the prettiest lady i've seen all night. can i give you a kiss?"
he got his kiss and a point in the bag.
i had no luck.
= 1-0 to him.
2nd place:
he tried it on again at the bar while i ordered.
"it's my birthday, can i have a kiss?"
he got told to fuck off by her fella, haha.
we went and stood by 4 women.
i got talking to one and eventually asked her for a kiss.
1 point for me.
she was dead nice actually.
he got talking to another one and finally wangled a peck.
our glasses were empty and he gave me a nudge,
"come on, rules is rules" and gestured to the door.
i went to give her a goodbye kiss but she held on to me a little while and my point turned into 3.
i was happy but also sad, could've talked to her all night.
he claimed it was 3-2 to me.
i put him straight on the rule of once failed no second chance.
= 3-1 to me.
3rd place:
neither of us made any attempts, no good-lookers.
= still 3-1 to me.
4th place:
apart from a few blokes at the bar everyone was sat at tables.
one became free and we grabbed it and realised there'd be no points in there.
just as we were drinking up 2 lasses approached us and asked if they could join us.
one was pretty and definitely had her eye on my pal.
i said, "help yourselves, we're leaving",
gave him a nudge and said rules is rules.
= still 3-1 to me
5th place:
we chose a new strategy...
to stand not far from door of the ladies loo.
they'd pass us on the way in and the way out.
after a while a woman came along, half-cut, but pretty enough.
she stumbled back out through the door and i said to her,
"you're staggering."
she replied, "you're not bad yourself."
3 easy points in the bag.
she hobbled off and my mate shook his head.
i told him he needed to up his game.
the cheeky fucker tried using my staggering line on the next pretty one.
she gave him a dirty look.
= 6-1 to me.
6th place:
he upped his game.
no idea what he said but he got a snog.
i challenged it on the basis of her not being good-looking.
he claimed we all have differing tastes.
i let him off.
i failed abysmally in my attempt at points.
= 6-4 to me.
7th place.
it was really crowded.
on my way back from the loo i accidentally hooked my arm through a woman's handbag strap and dragged her along.
she laughed and said, "are you taking me home?"
i said wait one second and grabbed my drink.
she was only short but nice enough and i got my 3 points.
my pal failed again.
= 9-4 to me.
8th and final place:
i was confident of a win and relaxed my guard.
i didn't even try, i was more than happy with my 9 points, (particularly the first 3 because they were genuine)
but i could see him looking round constantly.
we were at the dregs and i was about to offer to pay for the curry out of the 50 quid,
when he suddenly wandered over to a woman.
he said something lengthy into her ear as i finished my drink.
then he turned and pointed at me.
she put her hand down his kecks,
gave his balls a good old juggle and laughed at me.
he gave her 20 quid and came back over.
"a draw!" he exclaimed.
i objected on 3 counts...
firstly, we hadn't said that payment was allowed
(to which he said we hadn't said it wasn't allowed).
secondly, because she'd groped him, not the other way round
(to which he said the 2nd woman had snogged me not the other way round so what's the difference?).
and thirdly, because i believed he had told her about the wager
(he said he hadn't and i couldn't prove he had).
i'd finished my drink so i couldn't try for a winning point and left disappointed with myself for resting on my laurels.
all in all, a night of harmless fun and laughter that i shall cherish as a memory.
oh, and he fell back to sleep after his alarm woke him this morning and missed his mid-day flight and had to book a later one which cost him £50.
karma.
only one drink per establishment then move on.
and a maximum of 8 bars/pubs.
only one attempt at points per establishment allowed.
i.e. if you try and fail then that's it until the next place.
no using the same chat-up line more than once.
no telling the lass about the wager.
and the lass has to be decent-looking.
as for the points system...
1 point for a peck, that's it,
no extra points for another peck from/with the same lass.
if you have a point in the bag but subsequently get a snog then the original point is null and void,
i.e. you just get the 3 points.
and likewise,
if you have either 1 or 3 points in the bag and you subsequently get a grope you only receive the 5 points.
oh, and a grope constitutes either the breasts or the crotch.
bum gropes don't count.
----------------------------------------------------------------
1st place:
straight to the bar waiting to order,
he turned to a woman by his side.
in his thick belfast accent,
"you're the prettiest lady i've seen all night. can i give you a kiss?"
he got his kiss and a point in the bag.
i had no luck.
= 1-0 to him.
2nd place:
he tried it on again at the bar while i ordered.
"it's my birthday, can i have a kiss?"
he got told to fuck off by her fella, haha.
we went and stood by 4 women.
i got talking to one and eventually asked her for a kiss.
1 point for me.
she was dead nice actually.
he got talking to another one and finally wangled a peck.
our glasses were empty and he gave me a nudge,
"come on, rules is rules" and gestured to the door.
i went to give her a goodbye kiss but she held on to me a little while and my point turned into 3.
i was happy but also sad, could've talked to her all night.
he claimed it was 3-2 to me.
i put him straight on the rule of once failed no second chance.
= 3-1 to me.
3rd place:
neither of us made any attempts, no good-lookers.
= still 3-1 to me.
4th place:
apart from a few blokes at the bar everyone was sat at tables.
one became free and we grabbed it and realised there'd be no points in there.
just as we were drinking up 2 lasses approached us and asked if they could join us.
one was pretty and definitely had her eye on my pal.
i said, "help yourselves, we're leaving",
gave him a nudge and said rules is rules.
= still 3-1 to me
5th place:
we chose a new strategy...
to stand not far from door of the ladies loo.
they'd pass us on the way in and the way out.
after a while a woman came along, half-cut, but pretty enough.
she stumbled back out through the door and i said to her,
"you're staggering."
she replied, "you're not bad yourself."
3 easy points in the bag.
she hobbled off and my mate shook his head.
i told him he needed to up his game.
the cheeky fucker tried using my staggering line on the next pretty one.
she gave him a dirty look.
= 6-1 to me.
6th place:
he upped his game.
no idea what he said but he got a snog.
i challenged it on the basis of her not being good-looking.
he claimed we all have differing tastes.
i let him off.
i failed abysmally in my attempt at points.
= 6-4 to me.
7th place.
it was really crowded.
on my way back from the loo i accidentally hooked my arm through a woman's handbag strap and dragged her along.
she laughed and said, "are you taking me home?"
i said wait one second and grabbed my drink.
she was only short but nice enough and i got my 3 points.
my pal failed again.
= 9-4 to me.
8th and final place:
i was confident of a win and relaxed my guard.
i didn't even try, i was more than happy with my 9 points, (particularly the first 3 because they were genuine)
but i could see him looking round constantly.
we were at the dregs and i was about to offer to pay for the curry out of the 50 quid,
when he suddenly wandered over to a woman.
he said something lengthy into her ear as i finished my drink.
then he turned and pointed at me.
she put her hand down his kecks,
gave his balls a good old juggle and laughed at me.
he gave her 20 quid and came back over.
"a draw!" he exclaimed.
i objected on 3 counts...
firstly, we hadn't said that payment was allowed
(to which he said we hadn't said it wasn't allowed).
secondly, because she'd groped him, not the other way round
(to which he said the 2nd woman had snogged me not the other way round so what's the difference?).
and thirdly, because i believed he had told her about the wager
(he said he hadn't and i couldn't prove he had).
i'd finished my drink so i couldn't try for a winning point and left disappointed with myself for resting on my laurels.
all in all, a night of harmless fun and laughter that i shall cherish as a memory.
oh, and he fell back to sleep after his alarm woke him this morning and missed his mid-day flight and had to book a later one which cost him £50.
karma.
Onholiday(somemightsay)
Well-Known Member
I believe it ended in a disappointing but fully expected nil-nil draw............ ;-)Who won?
In other words they went to their local, had 3 halves of mild and a bag of pork scratching before getting in before 9pm.I believe it ended in a disappointing but fully expected nil-nil draw............ ;-)
D
D
Deleted member 13905
Guest
keep up, you tart :)In other words they went to their local, had 3 halves of mild and a bag of pork scratching before getting in before 9pm.
neither of us eat dead things
and we didn't go into town until after 10.
the doubters can doubt.
the naysayers can say nay.
the miserablists can call us sixth formers or teenagers n'that,
but we had a lovely evening.
it's a shame more people don't enjoy themselves more often.
one of the reasons i'm done with this country.
people always want to piss on your chips.
goodbye y'all xxx
Barcon
Well-Known Member
I bet you can't even get chips where you're going.keep up, you tart :)
neither of us eat dead things
and we didn't go into town until after 10.
the doubters can doubt.
the naysayers can say nay.
the miserablists can call us sixth formers or teenagers n'that,
but we had a lovely evening.
it's a shame more people don't enjoy themselves more often.
one of the reasons i'm done with this country.
people always want to piss on your chips.
goodbye y'all xxx
D
D
Deleted member 13905
Guest
true,I bet you can't even get chips where you're going.
but at least nobody will be wanting to piss on my tagine.