The perfect fumble said:davymcfc said:One of the bears have a city shirt on?King Geedorah said:Just got back from a month trek to the North Pole. [It was absolutely beautiful, I would recommend to anyone but I could write pages about the trip itself but I'll stop]
Anyway we were about 140 nautical miles from the North pole, just before where it all gets truly unhabitable and no-one goes bar exploration purposes. We're talking
So after 19 days of nothing but walking, with our moral at its lowest at that point where the start and finish seem equally far away, the last people 5 days and 80 miles behind us, with the guides telling us to walk faster because the weather is deteriorating fast, in the very distance there is this dark spot, contrasted against the white snow and ice in every direction.
Our tour guides tell us to stop immediately. We're all fucking delighted. At this point we're beyond knackered. But shit, our tour guides barely speak. And now they're animated. They've walked slightly out of hearing range. And we're trying to listen in. All we hear is the odd word. Then I hear 'polar bear'. I quickly glance at my mate. He heard it too. Anyway they finish they're talking and come over to us. We're all shitting ourselves. Anyway he tells us something along the lines of.
'We're so far from civilisation, the only conceivable reason for that dark blot, is a seal carcass that a polar bears had, now the polar bears may have moved on but they usually hang around a kill for a few days, we can't turn back now so just be extra vigilant and I've loaded the shot gun'
At this point I'm just like fuck. I mean I know it was dangerous but this was a licensed expedition. Then you get those thoughts, maybe I'll be that guy on the news being reported as dead from a polar bear attack.
Anyway we carried on because there's no point turning back at this stage. So we're getting closer and closer to this dark thing, with the danger ever increasing that there could be a fucking 1000lbs polar bear waiting anywhere, perfectly camoflaug
Yep, he was singing "We're not really here".
The Polar Bear was an exiled Manc.