Pesky charity workers

[Fame Monster]

Just been having me tea when one of these student types knocked on my gaff, going on about the children. I would normally have closed the door in her face after hearing this, but she looked good so I let her talk.

Anyway, she's going on about sexual exploitation and I'm thinking 'you fucking bet I would you filthy middle class whore', but then the conversation turned sour when she said 'I'm sure you're not gonna miss 2 pound a month'. My teas going cold and that, and here's me thinking we're getting somewhere with all this sexy talk, then she has the cheek to say that. Livid was not the word. I wouldn't mind but she was wearing a scarf FFS!! I felt like saying to her, 'you're telling me to give my money to you, so what? You can buy another scarf? It's almost Spring FFS. If you would have been here in Winter, you'd realise that this is like fucking Tenerife for us. And you're wearing a scarf. I genuinely cannot believe my eyes. So sorry love, but you won't be getting a penny out of me'. I didn't end up saying that, I just politely closed the door. But yeah, what's their problem? All it is with them is money, money, money.

 

[StrangewaysHereWeCome]

I had Jehovahs at the door today " No! Im not interested" and as for them twats who phone you, I just hang up on the tw@ts

 

[Fame Monster]

Sometimes, I wish I had one of those Harry Potter cloaks so I could just stand at the door, all invisible, and slap them in the face.

 

[MCFC BOB]

Did you complete it with a punch to the ovaries?

 

[Fame Monster]

Did you complete it with a punch to the ovaries?

Speaking of Harry Potter...

 

[Cellarite]

a while ago, some twat phoned me trying to sell something. i interupted him with a crooner's version of bluemoon. he waited and when i finished, carried on hid shite!

 

[Laurent Charvet]

I always say, " I actually already pay for this"

Then they apolgise and piss off.

Winner.

 

[gaudinho's stolen car]

It's like those money grabbing bitches on Sackville St.

Woman: "Oooh, do you want a blow job, how about full sex?"

Me: Well, yes please, it's actually quite refreshing to take the courting period out of the equation.

Woman: "That will be £40 love, up front"

Me: Smell this handkerchief, this is what happens when you try to dupe somebody.

 

[BWTAC]

I usually feign interest and invite them in. I have quite a collection of them now in my cellar.

 

[daveduke67]

Answer the door naked.

I either try and keep the twat on the other end of the phone on as long as I can or hand them to the 'person who deals with all the stuff like this' - my 3 year old daughter.