Put Down Lines

[BigJoe#1]

Anyone got any classic put down quotes? Things like

Churchill to Lady Astor

Lady Astor to Churchill "Sir you are drunk"

Churchill to Lady Astor "Yes, and Madam you are ugly, in the morning I shall be sober"

Or

Lady Astor to Churchill "If you were my husband I would give you poison"

Churchill to Lady Astor "and Madam if you were my wife I would take it"

Or maybe Groucho Marx

"I would not wish to belong to any club that would be prepared to have someone like me as a member"

Anyone got any more?

 

[Bluesince1979]

can't remember who but some cricketer called an oponment a fat bastard. t'other cricket replied, "every time i shag your wife she gives me a buscuit".

 

[pinkwheeltrim]

The Count once said to me "You Sir, are a swine"!

 

[msl]

can't remember who but some cricketer called an oponment a fat bastard. t'other cricket replied, "every time i shag your wife she gives me a buscuit".

 

[leenik]

can't remember who but some cricketer called an oponment a fat bastard. t'other cricket replied, "every time i shag your wife she gives me a buscuit".

it was Eddo Brandes to Glenn McGrath!

 

[pirate]

Mike atherton on tour down under was getting sledged about not walking from Merv Hughes.

His reply was "When in Rome dear boy, when in Rome"

 

[Quinny851]

Not really a one liner but still a cracking put down/response - Javed Mianded the captain of Pakistan cricket team called Merv Hughes a bus driver;

For about 3 overs Merv tried to kill him with short-pitched deliveries at his head, eventually Javed gloved one of them and was caught. Merv just ran down the crease celebrating shouting " tickets please, tickets please"

 

[glen quagmire]

In the pub my pal said to some big unit"fancy a dance love?" She said to him "not really" "What about a drink then?" She said "ok" and he gave her three quid and said "take your time at the bar, while i speak to your mate".


Was funnier at the time.....

 

[daveduke67]

You must meet lots of interesting people on you travels

Not really, most of them are like you.

 

[Paul Lake's Left Knee]

Viv Richards played and missed at a ball bowled by Greg Thomas of Glamorgan, Thomas repeated this and ran down the pitch, and said to Viv "Its red and round, you are supposed to hit it" next ball Viv stuck him out of the ground and into the river taff and replied "you know what it looks like, go get it"

Jimmy Ormond walked to the crease Mark Waugh "Fuck me Jimmy what are you doing here, your fucking shit" Jimmy replied "At least i am the best cricketer in my family"