Put Down Lines

[Mike N]

Always smile when I hear the Churchill one. After all, he was a hideous pig of a man and if I looked like him I wouldn't have called anyone ugly.

 

[nelsons willie]

1: Rodney Marsh vs. Ian Botham
Rodney Marsh: "So how's your wife…and my kids?"
Ian Botham: "The wife's fine, but the kids are retarded."

the rest are here.

http://uktv.co.uk/dave/blogpost/aid/628208/

 

[charliebigspuds]

Rod Marsh to Ian Botham "hey Beefy, hows your wife and my kids?" Botham's reply "the wife's fine but the kids are retarded"

 

[The Flash]

Roy 'Chubby' Brown to a heckler: "You only grew that moustache so you'd look like your mother you mouthy c*nt"

 

[Paul Lake's Left Knee]

Daryll Cullinan walked to the wicket - Shane Warne said to him, "ahhh its you, i've been waiting 2 years to bowl at you" Cullinan replied "looks like you spent most of it eating"

Glen McGrath to Sarwan "So what does Brian Lara's dick taste like?" Sarwan "why dont you ask your wife" *McGrath went for Sarwan as his wife was ill with cancer at the time saying "mention my wife again and i'll rip your fucking throat out"

And the famous Rod Marsh to Botham - "hello Beefy how is your wife and my kids" Botham "Wife's fine but the kid's retarded"

 

[denislawsbackheel]

when asked for a reference a boss wrote
"if you get Miss XXX to work for you, you will be very lucky indeed."

Brilliant I thought.

 

[BackofJeanette]

My Dad once threatened my Mum with something along the lines of
"I'll drag you upstairs in a minute and give you a good sorting out"

To which she promptly retorted " pah! It's only the skin it used to be in"

We all pissed ourselves and my Dad went all sheepish!

 

[Belly]

Some crackers here..........<a class="postlink" href="http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/30-best-ever-put-downs-wittiest-945130" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/30 ... est-945130</a>

 

[Blue Punter]

Prince Phillip has come out with a few in his time:

To Scottish driving instructor, 1995: “How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?

On Princess Anne, 1970: “If it doesn’t fart or eat hay, she isn’t interested.

<a class="postlink" href="http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/prince-philip-quotes-relive-90-133848" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/pr ... -90-133848</a>

 

[mammutly]

Not sure who invented this one:


"I've never been so insulted in all my life!"

Response: "You should get out more"