I can't understand what has happened.
A search was conducted far and wide, across international borders, until Ralf was found sitting cross-legged in a Tibetan football monastery as part of a vow of silence. It was found that he and the other football monks had been silently watching tapes of 'Phil Jones greatest games' every night as part of their mission.
He then emerged from the monastery uttering the now famous words "I must play Phil Jones'.
He has now fulfilled the dream of he and the other monks.
Surely such adoration, dedication and loyalty to an individual should be universally recognised.
Please feel free to enlighten me if I am incorrect on this important matter!