The life of a Junior Football coach

[Bluesince1979]

Again, thank you for all the posts and replies.
Deep down i know most parents appreciate the effort we as coaches put in, often behind the scenes.

Its mostly a great and fulfilling experience. Ive made strong bonds with some lads. Lads that didnt know each other previous and go to different schools are now pals and have seen each other socially. Parents have met for drinks etc.
And thats great, thats what its about for me.
Of the 3 parents that had a moan over weekend , let me say 2 of them are usually bang on and ive never had an issue and i maybe have to appreciated you dont know whats going on at home sometimes.

im a million miles from being a ‘win at all costs’ coach. I work out each saturday morning before we meet whos starting as sub (whos turn it is) and work out the sub rotation to the minute to ensure equal playing time. I KNOW im fair with that.
But … winning games helps, i think thats just a fact of life. Last year when we didnt win our first 8 games it was tough and i became a motivator, having to keep spirits up each week. But maybe that helped shape the team and me as a coach. I'm waffling now.

I did post on our whatsaap group yesterday reaffirming my stance on dishing out MOTM medals and that its done fair and equal. I dont think the lads actually know when its done the way it is, they are just happy to get it when they do (well apart from one who wants it every week).
Most parents commented that they are understanding, the boys are understanding and its all good… apart from old moany bollocks who stayed silent

Anyway, tomorrow i shall be putting out saturdays fixture and asking for availability. Lets see if i get a full squad or if one parent has seen his arse as he is very much not used to being told no.
Im at the point of not caring if i lose a dick head like that and the head ache of finding a replacement that will bring

 

[DenisLawBackHeel74]

Posting on here for a bit of feedback and comradeship as i cant post on the usual outlets for obvious reasons

I coach my sons U10 footy team and am just starting my 2nd season. I played football well into my 40s, and ran a few adult teams over the years but coaching a kids team was all brand new to me.

We are a lowish level team who started off last season going 8 games without finding a win but ended the season winning more than we lost. The improvement to the lads was great to see.
This season we have been placed in a higher league (probs mid level after last seasons low level) and the lads are smashing it. Theyve won first 3 games.
I am not tactical genius , i just get the lads giving there all and playing them in positions they exceed at and are happy in. I ask the lads 2 things, to try their best and to enjoy it. It seems to work.

Ive also grown into the role , it took me a long time to learn to enjoy it and not take it too serious and that totally helps too.

i feel i tick the boxes to why im there; being part of lads playing footy and them enjoying it.

Anyway now for my rant;

Ive always tried to involve the parents in everything, following advice early on of get the parents on side helps in a big way.

I write weekly match reports, i send appraisals to the boys, i encourage them all the time, i totally focus on strengths of each lad, i give equal playing time to all. I give a man of the match medal each week (club dont provide these so out my own pocket) and all lads get it equal amount of times. Theres always a reason why someone deserves it.
I involve the parents in post match chats to let them feel involved

Last night i get 3 messages off parents;
1; “what does my son have to do to get man of the match, he doesnt get it, he needs it soon”
Now this lad is the son of a millionaire, he is totally indulged so i play my amateur physiologists roll and ensure i heap praise on him because thats what he thrives on. Where as others thrive off a kick up the arse. I cant keep telling this kid how well he is playing any more than i do.
2; “my son enjoys playing for the team but doesnt like defence and wants to play midfield so he can score 3 goals a game”
This lad is our best player, its only 7 a side, he plays maybe 10% of each game in defence but has a pretty free roll to drive forward and plays most of the game centre mid anyway.
I pointed this out to said parent who then ignored the message
3; “my son never gets man of the match”. He does, as i said they all get it equally, but they will go 9 games to win it again so it sometimes feels a long time. Showed them last seasons chart for MOTM and all lads getting it the same amount of times, she just said it doesnt feel that way

Anyway, so ive vented above , got it off my chest, last nights messages knocked me sideways and had me thinking is it worth it?
I sacrifice a lot and ask for nothing back. I miss all my daughters games because they clash where as other parents in same position can alternate

We seemed to enjoy it more as a struggling team rather than the winning outfit we are now

Anyone else lived the life of a football junior coach and felt a bit disillusioned as to why you do it and is it worth all the effort?
We sacrifice a lot , we get little in return other than ear ache off parents, or so it seems

Been there and done it mate…it’s a thank less task.

You should maybe consider letting either the opposing team manager or the boys themselves or even the parents decide a motm. This then takes the pressure off you.

In terms of the kids playing different roles, what we did was ask each of them to tell us two positions they would like to play in and then try and accommodate that during the season.

You should perhaps consider getting another parent or so involved with training, this can help them understand what’s involved and what it takes to be a coach…..attitudes would soon change.

 

[Bluesince1979]

Been there and done it mate…it’s a thank less task.

You should maybe consider letting either the opposing team manager or the boys themselves or even the parents decide a motm. This then takes the pressure off you.

In terms of the kids playing different roles, what we did was ask each of them to tell us two positions they would like to play in and then try and accommodate that during the season.

You should perhaps consider getting another parent or so involved with training, this can help them understand what’s involved and what it takes to be a coach…..attitudes would soon change.

Your last paragraph is what tickles me in all this.
I was away for 2 weekends last season so had to ask a parent to volunteer to cover.
Moany bollocks did it one week, he said never ever again, said its a lot of pressure. This from a man who runs a multi million pound company. So .. he should know.

I had thought about asking the ref or opposing coach to nominate MOTM. Trouble is, same lad(s) will win it weekly
Im veering towards maybe not doing it but nominating a captain for the week after, but maybe thats the same result anyway

 

[Lowtower]

I've done it for 20 years from when I stopped playing, my lads team are now Under 11s so we have the offside rule to deal with this season.

No matter what, you will always be wrong, just be consistent with how you approach things. I learnt long ago that its not the player you are taking on to coach its the parents.
Never been a fan of player of the match, but I keep a track of everything from appearances to goals to training on a simple excel sheet - and do an end of season slide show with this info (match related) and its a useful tool to show that game time is widely equal, if a player hasn't had player of the match for a while, I look for an opportunity to give them it, a quick word before hand with the player in hand is a useful motivational tool too, set them targets etc.

 

[Stephen230]

I stepped in to run my lads team about 15 years ago, as it would have folded otherwise.

Must admit, although it was something I’d never considered doing before, I was really looking forward to it once I’d committed and it was good fun to start with.

Then the parents started to try and get involved. The guy who started this thread must have the patience of a saint. I’m a pretty laid back kinda guy but if these entitled pricks thought they were going to be able to talk to me like I was a some kind of moron, without me telling them to fuck off, they were sadly disappointed.

It didn’t last long and it’s not something I would dream of ever doing again.

 

[DenisLawBackHeel74]

Your last paragraph is what tickles me in all this.
I was away for 2 weekends last season so had to ask a parent to volunteer to cover.
Moany bollocks did it one week, he said never ever again, said its a lot of pressure. This from a man who runs a multi million pound company. So .. he should know.

I had thought about asking the ref or opposing coach to nominate MOTM. Trouble is, same lad(s) will win it weekly
Im veering towards maybe not doing it but nominating a captain for the week after, but maybe thats the same result anyway

Maybe you have a second award….nominated by the players. Just something to make them feel they are deciding themselves who wins it….if it’s the same players every week then maybe some of the others need to step up a bit more….just a thought.

 

[give it to gordon]

I did it for ten years. I have not been through any of the posts. The respect barrier with all parents on one side works. If a player or parent complained they were let go and subs refunded. Every player should get 60 per cent on the pitch via revolving subs apart from the goalkeeper or a budding Phil Foden because they pay subs.

The respect line came in the season before my ban.

One of the more bizarre rules Kent fa brought in after that was that the kids had to wear the same colour under clothing as their kit.
When it was cold kids use to wear tracksuit bottoms with their shorts over the top.
Now Kent fa want those to be the same colour as the shorts. It's kids football were are parents goting to find yellow or green or white or blue tracksuit bottoms ? The sock tape had to be the same colour as the sock.
Fuck me these were young kids from poor backgrounds.
You also had to buy a Molton football because they sponsored the league lol. You were given one ball free but you had to have a spare which you bought !

I kid you not the first match of the season was in Faversham, the kids had matching yellow tape and a few had green matching 'lycra' under shorts. The ref ref'd wearing a dippers shirt and knee length compat shorts and trainers and was a right homer ref it was facial.

The kids had to look like mini premier league players yet the ref could wear what he liked lol

 

[es1]

I've just started coaching my sons u7s team. Really good group of kids and parents (so far at least). Sounds like we do similar to you, aim for equal playing time and everyone will play in different positions, including keeper, in every game and everyone will be a sub at least once. Very challenging at times as we have 16 kids so fitting that into 2 games of 40 mins every weekend is tough!

Had a pre-season meeting with the parents to set expectations which seems to have gone well.

We share man of the match as well, otherwise it would be the same player every week - he's six, 18 goals in three games and is miles better than I could ever dream to be at football already!

Definitely enjoying it so far, though I am only 3 months into it! See how training and games through the winter affect my mood :D

 

[Platt Lane 59]

Been there and done it mate…it’s a thank less task.

You should maybe consider letting either the opposing team manager or the boys themselves or even the parents decide a motm. This then takes the pressure off you.

In terms of the kids playing different roles, what we did was ask each of them to tell us two positions they would like to play in and then try and accommodate that during the season.

You should perhaps consider getting another parent or so involved with training, this can help them understand what’s involved and what it takes to be a coach…..attitudes would soon change.

Rang a junior football team 25 years ago, as my son and his mates had no local team.
Parents were superb and the lads were terrific, although some "rum" ones kept you on your toes.
Couldn't have done it without 2/3 fellow parents as coach/helpers.
Not only did they help, but explained difficult decisions.
It's impossible to keep all players and parents happy, all of the time.
Keep going, as these youngsters will always remember their junior football experiences...

 

[Mad Eyed Screamer]

I did it for ten years. I have not been through any of the posts. The respect barrier with all parents on one side works. If a player or parent complained they were let go and subs refunded. Every player should get 60 per cent on the pitch via revolving subs apart from the goalkeeper or a budding Phil Foden because they pay subs.

What about the sub keeper. The Scott Carson of the team!