The secrets to a long and happy marriage (for you blokes)

Bill Walker

Well-Known Member
Joined
24 Dec 2006
Messages
32,605
Location
Down under
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City
After 30 odd years of wedded bliss Im happy to pass on my wisdom and experience to younger viewers of Bluemoon.
So many marriages end in divorce these days, its time to give blokes some tips.
Women are different than men in a lot of ways, generally, whats important to a woman may not be important to you, so bear that in mind.

1) A happy wife is a happy life. This is 100% true, if your missus is happy she will make you happy 100%. If she is pissed off neither of you will be happy.
To make here happy every day I recommend the following tips.

2) Very important, tell here she is beautiful and that you LOVE here at least every 2 days (this is extremely important to women) you might think, well she knows I love her.....but believe me, they have to hear you SAY it, a lot !

3) Dont be stingy with money, there is nothing a woman hates more than a tightwad, be generous with your money (But dont be stupid with it).

4) When you go to view a house, tell her that you want her to be 100% happy in your new home so your prepared to go along with her choice (women are homemakers more than men and the actual house is more important to them)

5) always say nice things to her Mother, even if you cant stand her pretend that you think the world of her.

6) Never get involved in fights, women see this as men being immature, if someone is being twatty with you, be the big man and walk away.

7) Be romantic, take her out for the odd surprise meal, bring flowers home from work, or a small gift like earrings etc. Remember your wife will love the feeling that you are thinking about her when your not with her.

8) Dont take here for granted, thank her for washing the bedding or cooking or whatever job she does regularly, women dont like being taken for granted.

Bonus brownie points;
Sometimes after being at work or at the match, walk in and stare at here (especially if she's standing) after a minute ask her if she has lost weight as she seems slimmer. (this works a treat LOL) Obviously dont do this too often or she will see right through you.
 
What a pile of shit. Marriage is a wife sentence.
To the young Blue Mooners, my advice (after being married twice and not currently) is to spend your money on City, beer and The Smiths & Morrissey back catalogue. That is all you need.
Yeah there is always that :)
 
After 30 odd years of wedded bliss Im happy to pass on my wisdom and experience to younger viewers of Bluemoon.
So many marriages end in divorce these days, its time to give blokes some tips.
Women are different than men in a lot of ways, generally, whats important to a woman may not be important to you, so bear that in mind.

1) A happy wife is a happy life. This is 100% true, if your missus is happy she will make you happy 100%. If she is pissed off neither of you will be happy.
To make here happy every day I recommend the following tips.

2) Very important, tell here she is beautiful and that you LOVE here at least every 2 days (this is extremely important to women) you might think, well she knows I love her.....but believe me, they have to hear you SAY it, a lot !

3) Dont be stingy with money, there is nothing a woman hates more than a tightwad, be generous with your money (But dont be stupid with it).

4) When you go to view a house, tell her that you want her to be 100% happy in your new home so your prepared to go along with her choice (women are homemakers more than men and the actual house is more important to them)

5) always say nice things to her Mother, even if you cant stand her pretend that you think the world of her.

6) Never get involved in fights, women see this as men being immature, if someone is being twatty with you, be the big man and walk away.

7) Be romantic, take her out for the odd surprise meal, bring flowers home from work, or a small gift like earrings etc. Remember your wife will love the feeling that you are thinking about her when your not with her.

8) Dont take here for granted, thank her for washing the bedding or cooking or whatever job she does regularly, women dont like being taken for granted.

Bonus brownie points;
Sometimes after being at work or at the match, walk in and stare at here (especially if she's standing) after a minute ask her if she has lost weight as she seems slimmer. (this works a treat LOL) Obviously dont do this too often or she will see right through you.


You’re a right soppy tart Nimmers ;)

I too am not inexperienced in matters of marriage and my advice is somewhat more succinct ..

1 - All women are as mad as toast. Never ever forget this.
2 - Make pub time for your mates and don’t even think about taking the missus (hence the phrase ‘er indoors)
3 - Sky multi room is much cheaper than a divorce

I think my work here is done.
 
When I tell the wife “as long as your happy” with decisions regarding house, choice of fence, gate, colour of bricks for driveway, she says “so if it all goes wrong you can blame me, is that it?!” I just can’t win sometimes.....
 
After 30 odd years of wedded bliss Im happy to pass on my wisdom and experience to younger viewers of Bluemoon.
So many marriages end in divorce these days, its time to give blokes some tips.
Women are different than men in a lot of ways, generally, whats important to a woman may not be important to you, so bear that in mind.

1) A happy wife is a happy life. This is 100% true, if your missus is happy she will make you happy 100%. If she is pissed off neither of you will be happy.
To make here happy every day I recommend the following tips.

2) Very important, tell here she is beautiful and that you LOVE here at least every 2 days (this is extremely important to women) you might think, well she knows I love her.....but believe me, they have to hear you SAY it, a lot !

3) Dont be stingy with money, there is nothing a woman hates more than a tightwad, be generous with your money (But dont be stupid with it).

4) When you go to view a house, tell her that you want her to be 100% happy in your new home so your prepared to go along with her choice (women are homemakers more than men and the actual house is more important to them)

5) always say nice things to her Mother, even if you cant stand her pretend that you think the world of her.

6) Never get involved in fights, women see this as men being immature, if someone is being twatty with you, be the big man and walk away.

7) Be romantic, take her out for the odd surprise meal, bring flowers home from work, or a small gift like earrings etc. Remember your wife will love the feeling that you are thinking about her when your not with her.

8) Dont take here for granted, thank her for washing the bedding or cooking or whatever job she does regularly, women dont like being taken for granted.

Bonus brownie points;
Sometimes after being at work or at the match, walk in and stare at here (especially if she's standing) after a minute ask her if she has lost weight as she seems slimmer. (this works a treat LOL) Obviously dont do this too often or she will see right through you.
9) Don't rest your pint on her back whilst backscuttling.
 

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