The Snip...

This is not bullshit but my right bollock is now fucking aching!!!!

I knew this thread would go from a serious man to man help request to TCIB sniggering in the corner and Citykev posting the funniest response ever!!
 
Listen St Helens because I jest not. My last post and this one are 100% truth.

I walked into his office with the missus following me. The comedian completely ignored me as I walked in, then shook the missus by the hand and said "Pleased to meet you Mrs.Citykev, I'm not going to hurt you at all." Fucking piss funny when you're so scared, there is something knocking on your knickers.

During the op, I believe at the point when the fucking NEEDLE entered my left gonad, I looked to the heavens and quietly sighed "For Fuck's sake." The bong-eyed doctor (he honestly did have one eye on my nuts and one on the door) simply raised his head, looked at me with his good eye and calmly said "Mr.Citykev, I am about to take a scalpel to your testicles. Can you reassure me that you will not use such language in my surgery again?"

I actually fucking apologised to the sick bastard.
 
citykev28 said:
Listen St Helens because I jest not. My last post and this one are 100% truth.

I walked into his office with the missus following me. The comedian completely ignored me as I walked in, then shook the missus by the hand and said "Pleased to meet you Mrs.Citykev, I'm not going to hurt you at all." Fucking piss funny when you're so scared, there is something knocking on your knickers.

During the op, I believe at the point when the fucking NEEDLE entered my left gonad, I looked to the heavens and quietly sighed "For Fuck's sake." The bong-eyed doctor (he honestly did have one eye on my nuts and one on the door) simply raised his head, looked at me with his good eye and calmly said "Mr.Citykev, I am about to take a scalpel to your testicles. Can you reassure me that you will not use such language in my surgery again?"

I actually fucking apologised to the sick bastard.
Click to expand...

brilliant...another classic post..I am laughing my tits off here but don't know why...the tears of laughter are running down my face yet it is me who is going to be subject to this!
 
St Helens Blue (Exiled) said:
Lavinda Past said:
Don't listen to these tossers. It's painless. I had it done one afternoon and was back at work the next morning.

The only bad thing was the CD that was playing in the operating room - Phil Collins (RIP).

Man up, the missus will love you for it!
Click to expand...

I am sorry mate but I just cannot imagine being awake whilst some random doctor hacks at my tubes!!!
Click to expand...


I was lying there nice and comfy with the old chap and his pals on full show, a female nurse came in and swabbed my tackle with what looked like soy sauce, gently moving the old chap from side to side to ensure full coverage.

In comes Dr Death with his junior scalpel set and hypodermic needle.

A couple of quick injections, a quick chat about f*ck all interesting, and he's in like Jack the Ripper. Does the right one first, seems to take a while and I start to wonder if this is his first op... He's got a bit of a sweat on and the nurse doesn't look too confident... I still can't feel a thing and I'm now thinking about how much compo I'll get for losing a nad. Suddenly, he's round the other side and starting on lefty. Two minutes later, his gloves are off and he's washing his hands. Nursey is giving me the old wash down and I'm reading a leaflet that says how soon I can have a shag.

Half an hour later, I'm back home, Mrs Lavinda looking after me like a good 'un (I mean cuppa and toast etc) within the hour I'm sleeping like a log.

I saw the nurse in Tesco's about two weeks later. She didn't recognise me - The old chap obviously hadn't left an impression...
 
St Helens Blue (Exiled) said:
citykev28 said:
Listen St Helens because I jest not. My last post and this one are 100% truth.

I walked into his office with the missus following me. The comedian completely ignored me as I walked in, then shook the missus by the hand and said "Pleased to meet you Mrs.Citykev, I'm not going to hurt you at all." Fucking piss funny when you're so scared, there is something knocking on your knickers.

During the op, I believe at the point when the fucking NEEDLE entered my left gonad, I looked to the heavens and quietly sighed "For Fuck's sake." The bong-eyed doctor (he honestly did have one eye on my nuts and one on the door) simply raised his head, looked at me with his good eye and calmly said "Mr.Citykev, I am about to take a scalpel to your testicles. Can you reassure me that you will not use such language in my surgery again?"

I actually fucking apologised to the sick bastard.
Click to expand...

brilliant...another classic post..I am laughing my tits off here but don't know why...the tears of laughter are running down my face yet it is me who is going to be subject to this!
Click to expand...

I don't believe I've ever said this to anyone apart from my lads but the best advice I can give you is to be brave and show everyone that you're a big boy.
 
St Helens Blue (Exiled) said:
Ok fellow blues (preferably people who have had it done) however the time has come in my life where I am having to plan for it. Wife just found out she is expecting again which came as a total shock but delight to us both.

Now not wanting my bollocks to be butchered or to feel any more pain than I need to should I go private or public,general anaesthetic or local.

Fuck me I am not looking forward to this part of my life!!
Click to expand...


get ur lass on the pill
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Unread Posts

Don't have an account? Register now and see fewer ads!

SIGN UP
Back
Top
✖
  AdBlock Detected
Bluemoon relies on advertising to pay our hosting fees. Please support the site by disabling your ad blocking software to help keep the forum sustainable. Thanks.