Things that can make you grumpy

When my wife refuses to get up until half seven, knowing she needs to leave by eight, and then complains about how she's always late everywhere. Yet I'm not allowed to make the obvious suggestion as it will undoubtedly mean I'm picking at her.

Drivers who don't bother to go round puddles in the road even when there are people walking past.

Loudmouths who barge to the front of the bar, ignoring everyone else waiting, and announce "when you're ready love!"

Stagecoach busses being about as reliable as a sneaky fart after 10 pints and a vindaloo.

The price of most things. John Lewis apparently want £22 a child to see Santa this year. What the actual hell?
 
BimboBob said:
Adverts for perfume at Christmas and cars during the rest of the year.


A perfume advert will make no fucking sense at all and will feature a tiny breasted tart waffling on about how it's going to be her day before some fake walls fall down and she storms out in a huff before a stupid french accent tells you what it is but in french. Pour Homme. Fuck off. Fuck off now. I'm going to be different! I fucking am. I'm going to do it by wearing a perfume that 1 million other people will wear. I will not be the person people expect me to be!! I fucking won't. Oh no. Today I'm going to flounce out of a room. I fucking will, just watch me. Here I go. Bet you didn't expect that do you. I told you I would be different. Fetch us a cup of tea. Cheers. All this flouncing has made me thirsty. Must be the perfume getting in my throat.


Car adverts that promise an "new driving experience" do you use a wheel and drive on the roads with it? Oh right, sorry I thought you had invented a hover car, now that would be FUCKING ACE, but no it's just a car being chased by paintballs. Other ones promise "all new levels of comfort" but fail to include a high backed armchair in front of a fire with a large scotch and a decent book in their "comfort" list. The ones that really do my fucking nut in are those ads that show cars driving along deserted city roads with the ever so good looking people in the front seats smiling and laughing as they drive around free from any cares in the world, even the uglier ones in the back are fucking smiling as though being driven in a car is the highlight of their miserable fucking lives. Cunts. Oh look, I'm on my own in a car on an empty road, what's that up ahead? Another car the same as mine but slightly different, let's race very slowly before I lose you and then you can indicate left for a bit before me and a mate pop up behind you and fuck you roughly in both holes because that's what they are suggesting you billowy tart.
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Oh yes.
 
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