Things that never happened when you were on holiday.

[The Pink Panther]

This sounds like a fella I work with. We have a sweep on who he met on his annual Caribbean cruise, film star, pop star, royalty etc
One of his stories was, he was at his golf club, where this particular day, he only went in for a drink and was asked if he had his clubs with him and would he make up a foursome.
It wasn't until the seventh hole that he realised that one of his opponents was Hugh Grant

 

[Magicpole]

Are you the flute whistling 'Ray Mccooney' character off Little Britain?

No, but I remember not meeting him that time when he didn't teach me all he knew about how air can be turned into annoying tunes.

Gutted doesn't go near it.

 

[BlueMoonRisin’]

No, but I remember not meeting him that time when he didn't teach me all he knew about how air can be turned into annoying tunes.

Gutted doesn't go near it.

"Yes".... "Maybe you did, maybe you didn't".... (plays fruit loop flute)

 

[Magicpole]

This sounds like a fella I work with. We have a sweep on who he met on his annual Caribbean cruise, film star, pop star, royalty etc
One of his stories was, he was at his golf club, where this particular day, he only went in for a drink and was asked if he had his clubs with him and would he make up a foursome.
It wasn't until the seventh hole that he realised that one of his opponents was Hugh Grant

He sounds like a wonderful intercontinental coach trip companion.

 

[Magicpole]

"Yes".... "Maybe you did, maybe you didn't".... (plays fruit loop flute)

I absolutely did, it was way back when I wasn't in the military behind enemy lines and his haunting flute didn't lead me home. I'm not filling up here thinking about it.

Must be the same guy.

 

[ColinBellsjockstrap]

Carla Connor from Corrie was immediately in front of me in a queue at the check in desk at Manchester Airport about five years ago.

She never spoke to me and asked me if I wanted to go into the bogs for a quick shag.

 

[roj]

I've never beat a German to a sunbed

 

[Dave Ewing's Back 'eader]

Magic?

That takes me back to that time Paul Daniels didn't catch me shagging Debbie McGhee and contrary to folklore that nobody has ever heard of he didn't shout, You'll like it, but not a lot. He was right. She was really irritating even though it never happened.

On the way out I didn't steal his syrup either.

Hopefully Wednesday goes better than that night when nothing happened, that's all I can say.

This is what yer said to Debbie? And she said 'It's over? I didn't know yer'd started!

 

[Magicpole]

This is what yer said to Debbie? And she said 'It's over? I didn't know yer'd started!

That bit is true.

 

[BlueMoonRisin’]

I never did get to have a gang bang with several gorgeous looking looking Scandinavian birds topless right opposite only a few feet from me and my ex Mrs on a beach in Majorca in 91.

She never caught on why I refused to turn over and lay on my front whilst my back was burning. Totally oblivious that my throbbing todger was strobing the sand like a turtles flipper... if only she knew.