Earlier this year, on the back of the news about charging for using the bogs, they actually had a competition to see who could suggest the most ridiculous extra charges. I sent them an email entry which I reproduce as follows:
Hello there,
I have read the publicity surrounding the extra charges, and would submit the following ideas for extra charges.
Visit to flight deck £20. If you wish to have a photo taken on the flight deck, an extra £10. A further £5 if passenger wishes to wear the captain's cap for the photo.
Having a female flight attendant £5. An attractive female flight attendant £10. For gay men passengers, these charges would be transversed. i.e. For a male flight attendant £5 and for a handsome male flight attendant £10.
There could also be a 10% surcharge if a gay female passenger wanted a "Butch" female flight attendant, as the "Butch" female flight attendant wouldn't normally be termed "Attractive", but would be attractive to the gay female passenger, so there should be an extra charge to facilitate this. Bisexual passengers would have to pay both charges. If it was suspected that a gay male or gay female passendger was avoiding such charges, this would be adequately catered for by having a specialist flight attendant with a good "Gaydar".
Sick bags £1. If this charge isn't paid, and passenger vomits on board, they would have to pay the costs of the valet. This will be in the terms and conditions of carriage.
Use of aircraft steps £5 each way. If passenger declined to pay when disembarking, they would have to wait until other passengers have disembarked and then jump out.
For disembarkation, there could be a passenger auction for the right to disembark first.
Window blind unlocking £1. Normally, the window blinds would be closed. If passenger wanted to look out of the window, a charge would be payable to unlock the blind and open it.
Reading lights could have a slot for payment of £1.
I hope these ideas meet with your approval. My contact details are below.
