hope i dont sound too harsh here.but fucking hell
why don't you want your son diagnosed , is that about you ? or your son ?, we all want the perfect family,perfect "happy and clever child" sadly we all don't get it, don't be in denial you're doing no one a favour, he obviously needs help,get it seen too.
my daughter has all sorts of problems, tourettes adhd autism would be a blessing, get it looked into ASAP ,it will help you and more importantly your child.
with the right help your life would be a lot easier , good luck without help and a label you're gonna fucking need it.