Chocolate is the work of the devil.
Let us be clear on that from the off.
I'm a helpless victim and he knows it. There are so many that if I know they are in the cupboard, talk to me incessantly. Call me. Taunt me.
"You know you're going to eat us"
"Have two, what's the difference, you're going to eat us all anyway."
I have to admit I haven't won many of those battles.
My missus makes chocolate caramel shortcake that actually makes you burst into tears it's that good.
As I said, I have too many to mention. All of the above is all I can say.
Don't even get me started on Belguan Chocolates. Bastards.
We save them in two world wars and this is how they repay us?
Cunts.