Twisted Testicle

When I was a kid me and my mates built a tree house, one of the lads who was about 10 at the time had some little yellow shorts on. He was trying to climb to the top but fell and caught his ball bag on a branch ripping the fooker clean open.

As he lay on the floor he keks started tunring a deeper shade of claret and as he stood up his bollocks were hanging down by his knees. His brother had to walk him home whilst holding what was left of his knackers.

I felt sick just thinking about it now.
 
mate of mne was on his house roof peeping through the house opposite bathroom skylight window, the woman spotted him and screamed, leading him to slip down the roof and catch his scrotum on the hook that supports the troughing , he had a sack 3 foot long , but never did it again, (ouch)
 
I had a trapped nerve in one of my testicles once, lasted about two weeks. one of the worst pains i've felt
 
Jack-Daniels said:
mate of mne was on his house roof peeping through the house opposite bathroom skylight window, the woman spotted him and screamed, leading him to slip down the roof and catch his scrotum on the hook that supports the troughing , he had a sack 3 foot long , but never did it again, (ouch)

What was the woman doing?
 
My mate had to wear a truss for weeks after an almighty kick in the balls.... one was the size of an orange and the other shrunk in sympathy. He wasn't shy in showing us either.

I had the pleasure of the foreskin in zip quandry, when too young to really know what the fuck was going on. Can still remember the look in my mums eyes when she did the only thing that could be done. I imagine she was thinking 'Sorry, son'.

I might have a thread-stopper for you all.....warning - this will make your balls shrink and eyes water !






A guy who owned the papershop on the corner of the road where I grew up once got one of his boys caught.... in a fucking rowing machine !! Let's just say that after a vigorous lunge forwards, not all of him returned on the backstroke.
 
<a class="postlink" href="http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article101006.ece" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/ne ... 101006.ece</a>
A WOMAN today admitted ripping off her ex-boyfriend’s testicle with her bare hands after he refused to have sex with her.

Amanda Monti, 24, flew into a rage after her ex-lover, 37-year-old Geoffrey Jones, rejected her advances at the end of a drunken house party.

She yanked off his left testicle, which was later handed to him by a friend with the words: "That’s yours."

[and this is how far down I got reading before I started laughing - even though you know you shouldn't]

Monti, of Birkenhead, Merseyside, pleaded guilty to wounding at Liverpool Crown Court today and will be sentenced next month.

The court heard that Mr Jones had ended his long-term relationship with Monti towards the end of May last year.

The pair remained on good terms and on May 30, Monti offered to collect Mr Jones from a barbecue and drive him to his home in Netherton, Merseyside. She then drove him to another party and then home again, where friends joined them for more drinks.

As the drinks party was winding down, Monti told Mr Jones she wanted to discuss their relationship and offered him sex.

When he refused, she grabbed his face and a struggle ensued.

Mr Jones threw petite Monti, who is little more than 5ft 2ins tall, out of the house. She then smashed a window and confronted him on the doorstep as he went to investigate.

Another struggle took place and Monti was knocked to the floor, from where she pulled down Mr Jones’ shorts.

In a statement read out by judge Charles James, Mr Jones continued: "I was left standing in my underpants. She was still lying on the floor.

"Suddenly she grabbed my genitals and pulled hard. That caused my underpants to come off and I found I was completely naked and in excruciating pain."

Referring to his friend Danny McDonagh, who was sleeping at the house after the party, Mr Jones said: "I believe Danny walked out shortly afterwards. He came into the kitchen and said to me, 'That’s yours', and I saw that he was holding one of my testicles in his hand."

Monti initially tried to hide the testicle by putting it in her mouth, but released it. Doctors were unable to re-attach the organ.

Defence barrister Wendy Lloyd said her client did not remember much of the incident. However, she accepted the prosecution’s version of events and did not claim to have acted in self-defence.

Monti, who spoke only to confirm her name and enter a guilty plea, was released on conditional bail for sentence on February 10.

& it has to be said, this whole thread is a load of bollocks
 

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