I'm not really sure where to put this post because it's more of a general feeling I'm about to express, but it is the derby that's made me feel this way, so here it goes.
I have to admit I've been pretty downbeat and sad after the game this evening. Not because of the result (we've seen worse at Old Trafford and a point isn't too bad in the circumstances) and not even because of the performance (I've seen worse in recent memory), but because I realised as soon as the team came out that this might well be it. The big it - the absolute end of the fucking line. For this set of players, absolutely, but somehow for Pep as well. It's hit me all at once - how long Pep's been in charge of City, how lucky we've been to have him this long, how much of my life he's been in Manchester for, how much my life has changed during his tenure with this group of stars, how many times he's fought back and changed his style to keep City dominant and a step ahead of the chasing pack, how many times he's shown that he can learn from his (very few) mistakes in order to keep growing as a manager and leader of men.
But now we're here, potentially staring at the end of it all. Another team selection this season where I just feel crushed as soon as it gets published. Not only by the inadequate, ageing personnel, but by the ominous feeling that Pep can't see the wood for the trees anymore. He's confused me dozens of times while he's been in charge at City, but he's always brought me round to his way of thinking after a time. There's always a moment, either a minute later or a few weeks later, when everything clicks and I realise that Pep has educated me again. He's come up with a new set-up that will sweep all before him and he's shown me a new way of seeing and visualising football. But it's been months now since I've felt that sudden *click* - and this strange persistence with Bernardo, Kovacic, De Bruyne, and Gundogan shows no signs of stopping. After today, I'm honestly heartbroken because we've been here before with Pellegrini, Mancini, Hughes, etc. where, as a fan, you start seeing exactly where the problem is but you don't feel, deep in your heart, that the man in charge has spotted it too.
With Pellegrini, we developed an unbelievably soft centre about 18 months before he was sacked and he did nothing to toughen it up in all that time. With Mancini our attacks were getting narrower and narrower and teams knew they just had to sit tight and force us into tight spaces to frustrate us. With Hughes our expansive style left gaping holes at the back but he presumed Wayne Bridge/Sylvinho would cope just fine with being completely abandoned by their wingers. Every week you'd turn up hoping that they'd spotted the problem and had done something in the week to combat it. Maybe a tweak to the formation, or maybe dropping a couple of players who hadn't been pulling their weight. But they just... didn't. Whenever structural issues have appeared in Pep's teams, he's always figured out a route forward. He has made necessary tweaks, he has changed formations, and he has dropped or sold certain players. But since before Christmas he's just... stopped doing those things. The intensity, pace, and discipline have vanished from our game, but he's seemingly made no attempt to bring them back. Right now, I just don't see where that next forward move is going to come from and it's honestly breaking my heart that this might well be the thing that brings about his end.
I desperately want Pep to turn this around. I love him so much and he's earned the right to get things right again. But it's getting to the point where, even now, I honestly don't know if Kovacic, Bernardo, and Gundogan will be sold (or loaned out) at all this summer. None of them are out of contract and Pep seemingly still trusts them all to start in big games, so why would he? For years now I've always been happy with the feeling that Pep knows best. But I just... don't feel that right now, and truthfully I haven't felt it for months. The decisions he's making from game to game are baffling, his management of games from moment to moment is depressing, the calls he's made in the transfer market in very recent years have been unusual to say the least, and I honestly don't think I could name a player who has improved under his tutelage since we won the treble. If you were to ask me now, hand on heart, how I think the last two years of Pep's contract are going to go, I really don't think I could call it. Usually I'd be confident of us finishing 2nd/3rd in 2026 and then winning one last title in 2027 before he heads off into the sunset, but I just... don't trust him to do what's best for the team right now.
I'll repeat what I said before the game. Pep's told De Bruyne this week that he'll no longer be required in six weeks but we've started him in an Old Trafford derby; Grealish scored and got MOTM in midweek but he was rewarded with a place on the bench today; O'Reilly couldn't get a look-in 10 days ago and now he's starting at LB in a Manchester derby; Khusanov has been in basically every first XI since he signed but has randomly been dropped out of nowhere; we spent £50m on Gonzalez eight weeks ago and he's been dropped already for no obvious reason; Kovacic missed the last few games but was suddenly thrown back in today; McAtee was told to stay at City in January but has played about 20 minutes of football since then; Savinho is our most creative winger this season but has suddenly been left out of games he'd suit; Pep's acknowledged that Foden's not at the races this season but has started him in a massive game again; we couldn't promise Gundogan a two-year deal in 2023 but here we are two years later playing him three times in a week when he's just shy of his 35th birthday.
None of it makes sense and I just cannot see what Pep is trying to do anymore. I haven't been able to see what he's trying to do for months now. There's part of me imagining that, on the first day of next season, Bernardo, Gundogan, and Kovacic will all be playing for different teams and he'll still try to name them in the starting line-up. Given what he's achieved with us and given the unbelievable heights he's taken us to, he deserves unending goodwill and a full season with a new squad to bring this back around. But if City were to approach Simone Inzaghi this summer and offer him £300m to build a new team, I would completely understand and I would feel like it was the right decision. And that thought honestly breaks my heart because Pep is my favourite City manager of all time and he's helped me understand and look at football in ways I never thought would be possible. Him leaving Manchester without me ever getting to shake his hand and say thank you for everything he's given us since 2016 would upset me so much. But I just don't see where this goes unless he concedes to Viana and Txiki in the summer and allows his old boys to be forcibly removed from his grasp. I cannot imagine City without Pep but it feels closer than it ever has, and fucking hell that hurts.
