United Thread - 2023/24

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Burnage Burnsy said:
I shit you not - sat waiting for my car being serviced and there is a rag also waiting in full kit - WTF is the matter with them?? Grown man in his 40's. One win and all the fucking weirdos crawl out. Doubt I'll be able to bite my lip before I leave- too great an opportunity to take the piss. ****
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Should get involved in a conversation with him just to find out a bit more. I met one in a kebab shop near us and really went to town ( in a nice enough way ) He was from St Albans but didn't get to the matches as there were no tickets left......Didn't tell him I was a blue, not that he'd know what that meant....
 
bluemoon32 said:
It is just before Man City Vs Man Utd in the FA cup final at Wembley.
Haaland goes into the Man City changing room to find all his team mates looking a bit glum.
"What's up?" he asks.
"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only Man Utd. They're shite and we can't be bothered".
Haaland looks at them and says "Well, I reckon I can beat these by myself, you lads go down the pub."
So Haaland goes out to play Man Utd by himself and the rest of the Man City team go off for a few pints. After a few jars they wonder how the game is going, so they get the landlord to put the TV on. A big cheer goes up as the screen reads "Man City 2 - Man Utd 0 (Haaland 5, 10 minutes)". He is beating Man Utd all by himself!
Anyway, a few more pints later and the game is forgotten until someone remembers "It must be full time now, let's see how he got on". They put the TV back on.
"Result from Wembley Stadium "Man City 2 (Haaland 5, 10 minutes) - Man Utd 1"(Bruno Fernandes 89 minutes)".
They can't believe it, he has single handedly beat Manchester United!!
They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate him. They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sat with his head in his hands. He refuses to look at them.
"I've let you down, I've let you down."
"Don't be daft, you beat Man Utd all by yourself. And they only scored at the very very end"
"No, No, I have, I've let you down...
I got sent off after 12 minutes!”
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Excellent.
 
Tuearts right boot said:
Should get involved in a conversation with him just to find out a bit more. I met one in a kebab shop near us and really went to town ( in a nice enough way ) He was from St Albans but didn't get to the matches as there were no tickets left......Didn't tell him I was a blue, not that he'd know what that meant....
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If any rag tells me they can’t go to the match because they can’t get a ticket I always tell them , if you really want one I can get you one .
The look on their faces is a treat .
 
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