"Wayne Rooney's Plymouth Argyle''

His punditry has been very good last few months, SKY or BBC
He probably seems "good" compared to the usual nonsense we are fed by the likes of Carragher and Neville on Sky, because he is at least trying to talk about the game we're watching rather than playing fanboy for one of two clubs. I just don't think he's very eloquent when it comes to making clear and concise tactical points and it shows in comparison to others.

For example, I think Joe Hart and Ange Postecoglou have been a breath of fresh air in their approach to talking about the game, explaining what they are seeing in front of them, and giving insightful commentary from the perspective of people involved in the sport. There was also a Scottish lady (sadly I don't recall her name) covering the Scotland games and I thought she came across really well too, despite her obvious allegiance to the one of the teams involved.
 
I don't like the man. He's a scouser and he played for them. But even with my childish attitude to the rags I cannot understand what he's saying half the time. As a recognised authority on over-imbibing I would say he's either drunk or hungover most of the time, and I believe it's the former.
As I say, years ago I was as dedicated a piss-head as any human being could be. All over the slums and squats of England there should be huge murals painted in my honour proclaiming me to be the 'King of brake fluid.' Pub owners all over the UK have now retired to their country mansions, counting their billions courtesy of my innate greediness, and migrants from war-torn countries are now being turned away from these shores and directed to my extraordinarily large abdomen, where they can live out their days foraging around in my stretch-marks.
So I know a thing or two about having a liver that resembles an old Lennox Lewis punchbag, and Shrek is definitely a piss-head.

Respect.
 

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