Wedding Speech
- Thread starter ono
- Start date
Dave Ewing's Back 'eader
Well-Known Member
Branch out. There must be some reds at the wedding. Develop the theme that United are crap and they're on for a duffing.
johnny on the spot
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 19 Jul 2006
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You've known your boy how long and can't talk about him for 3-4 minutes?
Stood before all her grandmas and every other fucker though, it's a nightmare. My uncle said that on my wedding day I looked all set to be shot and as if they'd picked our kid to do it.
I fucked up my groom's speech totally, and all I had to do was thank everyone in the room for turning up, eating food we'd paid for and handing over some rather nice gifts. Oh, and telling my wife how beautiful she looked. My brother was shitting himself about his speech which, while brief and simple proved honest and digestible to all thronged.
In the end though, everyone knew why we were there, got on and got pissed and danced til the end. It was fantastic.
Stood before all her grandmas and every other fucker though, it's a nightmare. My uncle said that on my wedding day I looked all set to be shot and as if they'd picked our kid to do it.
I fucked up my groom's speech totally, and all I had to do was thank everyone in the room for turning up, eating food we'd paid for and handing over some rather nice gifts. Oh, and telling my wife how beautiful she looked. My brother was shitting himself about his speech which, while brief and simple proved honest and digestible to all thronged.
In the end though, everyone knew why we were there, got on and got pissed and danced til the end. It was fantastic.
crizack
Well-Known Member
you want people to be like this?
then do this.
''i'd just like to say, as i am the BEST man here, that i am the best. You can all sit here with your poncy hair do's and your fancy ties, but i am the best. And if anyone would like to argue the point, then come and have a go, if you think, that you are fucking hard enough...because let me tell you, it will be to the death!'' Then just walk away stumbling into an empty room singing CIITY! CIITY!
that should put things straight. Remember, it's not their big day, it's yours. You can stand there and give em all little stories of how he got chlamydia from a prostitute in amsterdam and that he fingered a blind midget in the trafford centre toilets, but their not interested in that shite...it's been done before mate.
then do this.
''i'd just like to say, as i am the BEST man here, that i am the best. You can all sit here with your poncy hair do's and your fancy ties, but i am the best. And if anyone would like to argue the point, then come and have a go, if you think, that you are fucking hard enough...because let me tell you, it will be to the death!'' Then just walk away stumbling into an empty room singing CIITY! CIITY!
that should put things straight. Remember, it's not their big day, it's yours. You can stand there and give em all little stories of how he got chlamydia from a prostitute in amsterdam and that he fingered a blind midget in the trafford centre toilets, but their not interested in that shite...it's been done before mate.
ono
Well-Known Member
I can talk about him loads. Just only been to one wedding and i can't remember it. I reckon i'm going with crizack's idea. Best one yet!johnny on the spot said:
andybluenolan
Well-Known Member
good opening punchline to use,my brother told me if im good at this one i can do his next one.
Ricster
Well-Known Member
crizack said:you want people to be like this?
then do this.
''i'd just like to say, as i am the BEST man here, that i am the best. You can all sit here with your poncy hair do's and your fancy ties, but i am the best. And if anyone would like to argue the point, then come and have a go, if you think, that you are fucking hard enough...because let me tell you, it will be to the death!'' Then just walk away stumbling into an empty room singing CIITY! CIITY!
that should put things straight. Remember, it's not their big day, it's yours. You can stand there and give em all little stories of how he got chlamydia from a prostitute in amsterdam and that he fingered a blind midget in the trafford centre toilets, but their not interested in that shite...it's been done before mate.
Lol, that woulod definately steal the show at the reception, and this would steal the show at the ceremony. Have your phone on the facebook site, ready to log in for your friend, then just before he kisses the bride get up and tell him he needs to change his status on Facebook like this guy did at his own wedding.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWoiuXCE9Xo[/youtube]
ali benarbia's studs
Well-Known Member
once you have them laughing take it in your stride,make sure you give both families a mention-finish speakin from the heart about the newlyweds-CLINK,CLINK-JOB DONE